The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
General
The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
American wit and humor
Albina McLush is divine. She is like the description of the Persian
beauty by Hafiz: “Her heart is full of passion, and her eyes are full of
sleep.” She is the sister of Lurly McLush, my old college chum, who, as
early as his sophomore year, was chosen president of the Dolcefarniente
Society, no member of which was ever known to be surprised at
anything—(the college law of rising before breakfast excepted). Lurly
introduced me to his sister one day, as he was lying upon a heap of
turnips, leaning on his elbow with his head in his hand, in a green lane
in the suburbs. He had driven over a stump, and been tossed out of his
gig, and I came up just as he was wondering how in the d—l’s name he got
there. Albina sat quietly in the gig, and when I was presented,
requested me, with a delicious drawl, to say nothing about the
adventure—“it would be so troublesome to relate it to everybody!” I
loved her from that moment. Miss McLush was tall, and her shape, of its
kind, was perfect. It was not a fleshy one exactly, but she was large
and full. Her skin was clear, fine-grained and transparent; her temples
and forehead perfectly rounded and polished, and her lips and chin
swelling into a ripe and tempting pout, like the cleft of a burst
apricot. And then her eyes—large, languid, and sleepy—they languished
beneath their long, black fringes as if they had no business with
daylight—like two magnificent dreams, surprised in their jet embryos by
some bird-nesting cherub. Oh! it was lovely to look into them!
She sat usually upon a _fauteuil_, with her large, full arm embedded in
the cushion, sometimes for hours without stirring. I have seen the wind
lift the masses of dark hair from her shoulders, when it seemed like the
coming to life of a marble Hebe—she had been motionless so long. She was
a model for a goddess of sleep; as she sat with her eyes half-closed,
lifting up their superb lips slowly as you spoke to her, and dropping
them again with the deliberate motion of a cloud, when she had murmured
out her syllable of assent. Her figure, in a sitting posture, presented
a gentle declivity from the curve of her neck to the instep of the small
round foot lying on its side upon the ottoman. I remember a fellow
bringing her a plate of fruit one evening. He was one of your lively
men—a horrid monster, all right angles and activity. Having never been
accustomed to hold her own plate, she had not well extracted her whole
fingers from her handkerchief before he set it down in her lap. As it
began slowly to slide towards her feet, her hand relapsed into the
muslin folds, and she fixed her eyes upon it with a kind of indolent
surprise, drooping her lids gradually, till, as the fruit scattered over
the ottoman, they closed entirely, and a liquid jet line was alone
visible through the heavy lashes. There was an imperial indifference in
it worthy of Juno.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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