The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists — John Shaqi
The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
General
The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
American wit and humor
Lay out there and try to see
Jes’ how lazy you kin be!—
Tumble round and souse yer head
In the clover-bloom, er pull
Yer straw hat acrost yer eyes,
And peek through it at the skies,
Thinkin’ of old chums ’ats dead,
Maybe, smilin’ back at you
In betwixt the beautiful
Clouds o’ gold and white and blue!—
Month a man kin railly love—
June, you know, I’m talkin’ of!
VIII.
March ain’t never nothin’ new!—
Aprile’s altogether too
Brash fer me! and May—I jes’
’Bominate its promises,—
Little hints o’ sunshine and
Green around the timber-land—
A few blossoms, and a few
Chip-birds, and a sprout er two—
Drap asleep, and it turns in
’Fore daylight and snows agin!—
But when June comes—Clear my throat
With wild honey! Rench my hair
In the dew! and hold my coat!
Whoop out loud! and throw my hat!—
June wants me and I’m to spare!
Spread them shadders anywhere,
I’ll git down and waller there,
And obleeged to you at that!
_James Whitcomb Riley._
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_BAKED BEANS AND CULTURE_.
THE members of the Boston Commercial Club are charming gentlemen. They
are now the guests of the Chicago Commercial Club, and are being shown
every attention that our market affords. They are a fine-looking lot,
well-dressed and well-mannered, with just enough whiskers to be
impressive without being imposing.
“This is a darned likely village,” said Seth Adams last evening.
“Everybody is rushin’ ’round an’ doin’ business as if his life depended
on it. Should think they’d git all tuckered out ’fore night, but I’ll be
darned if there ain’t just as many folks on the street after nightfall
as afore. We’re stoppin’ at the Palmer tavern; an’ my chamber is up so
all-fired high, that I can count all your meetin’-house steeples from
the winder.”
Last night five or six of these Boston merchants sat around the office
of the hotel, and discussed matters and things. Pretty soon they got to
talking about beans: this was the subject which they dwelt on with
evident pleasure.
“Waal, sir,” said Ephraim Taft, a wholesale dealer in maple-sugar and
flavoured lozenges, “you kin talk ’bout your new-fashioned dishes an’
high-falutin’ vittles; but, when you come right down to it, there ain’t
no better eatin’ than a dish o’ baked pork ’n’ beans.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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