_THE ACCIDENT OF THE DISTINGUISHED STRANGER._ (FROM SCENE XII. OF “DIE DEUTSCHEN KLEINSTÄDTER.”) (_Scene in the Burgomaster’s home in a small town. News has just been received of a traveller, whose carriage has met with an accident in a quarry just outside the town._ FRAU STAAR, _the Burgomaster’s mother, is all in a flutter as to the best way of doing honour to the distinguished stranger, and has sent for all of her female relatives, to obtain their advice in this difficult question_.) FRAU STAAR. FRAU BRENDEL. FRAU BRENDEL. Here I am, most dear Dame Cousin. I ran so, I have no breath left. I was but just drinking my seventh cup of coffee, but I jumped up and left everything, at your message. FRAU STAAR. Greatly obliged, most esteemed Dame Cousin. Have you heard---- FRAU BRENDEL. I know everything! My maid had gone to market, and the butcher told her his neighbour, the linen-draper, had heard how the bailiff had said to his daughter: Mickey, he said, out in the quarry there are a couple of counts lying, who have broken their arms and legs, and will be here in a minute. The watchman will blow a horn from the turret, the children will strew flowers on their path, the magistrate _in corpore_ will go to meet them, and the bells will be rung. FRAU STAAR. It is only one, Dame Cousin; only one is lying in the quarry, probably a gentleman of quality. He is to be our guest. The Minister of State has written and has asked my son. Now you can fancy, Dame Cousin, the excitement in the house. And everything is on my shoulders! Everything rests upon me! (_Enter Frau Morgenroth._) FRAU MORGENROTH. Your servant, most esteemed Dame Cousin. Only see how my walk has heated me. I trust I am not too late? With your permission be it said, I had scarce a thing on me, was singing my morning hymn and combing my poodle-dog. At the third stanza your maid came rushing in. My God, I thought the house was on fire! Then and there I jumped up, the poodle-dog dropped from my lap, the hymnal fell in the coals where I was warming my coffee, the coffee was spilled, and two stanzas of the hymn, “Awake, my heart, and sing!” were burned up. FRAU STAAR. I regret it, exceedingly, worthy Dame Cousin---- FRAU MORGENROTH. Oh, it’s of no consequence. I know all. Out in the quarry lie three or four princes; one is dead, the other is gasping a bit now and then. The coachman has broken his neck, the horses are lying stiff and stark. I met the Herr Assistant-Bailiff Balg on the street; his cook told him; she knows it from the wife of the Lottery Inspector; her husband’s barber told her all the details. FRAU STAAR. Tut, tut, it is not quite so bad as all that. A short time ago a peasant came here from Kabendorf---- FRAU BRENDEL. I know, he got a solid thaler for a tip. FRAU MORGENROTH. Far from it, Dame Cousin, a Louis-d’or it was. FRAU STAAR. He had run as fast as he could run. FRAU BRENDEL. They say it gave him a pain in his side. FRAU MORGENROTH.