_Koch._ Well now, when you have a wife everything’ll be so different that you’ll hardly know yourself. Here there’ll be a sofa, there a lap-dog, then a birdcage, and fancy-work lying about.... And just imagine—you sit on the sofa, and suddenly a little woman comes and sits down beside you, a pretty little girl ... and puts up a little hand—— _Pod._ Ah! the devil take it! when one thinks of it, what beautiful hands there are—just as white as milk! _Koch._ How you talk! Anybody would think women had got nothing but hands!... My lad, they’ve got——in fact the deuce knows what they haven’t got! _Pod._ Do you know—I confess it to you—I _do_ like to have a pretty woman sit beside me. _Koch._ There now! there you see! Then all that’s wanted is to make the arrangements. You needn’t take any trouble about that, though; I’ll manage the wedding and the dinner, and all that.... You can’t possibly do with less than a dozen of champagne—that there’s no question about. We must have half a dozen of Madeira too; I expect the lady’s got a whole tribe of aunts and cousins and all the rest of it, and they won’t want to be done out of their share. Then there’s the Rhine-wine—what the devil do you call it, eh? And as for the dinner, I’ll tell you what, old chap: there’s a butler I know of that’ll settle it all for us; the dog will give you such a feed as you never saw in your life. [Illustration: PODKOLYÒSSIN: “DO YOU KNOW—I CONFESS IT TO YOU—I _DO_ LIKE TO HAVE A PRETTY WOMAN BESIDE ME.” KOCHKARYÒV: “THERE NOW! THERE YOU SEE! THEN ALL THAT’S WANTED IS TO MAKE THE ARRANGEMENTS.” ] _Pod._ But my dear fellow! you set about the business as if I were going to be married at once! _Koch._ And why not? What’s the use of putting it off? You’ve decided? _Pod._ Me? Oh, dear no! I haven’t decided at all! _Koch._ Well I never did! But you just said you wanted to marry. _Pod._ I only said it wouldn’t be a bad idea. _Koch._ Well now, really! And we were just settling up everything.... What’s come to you? Don’t you like the idea of a married life? _Pod._ Oh, yes, I like it. _Koch._ Well then, what’s it all about? Where’s the difficulty? _Pod._ There isn’t any difficulty; only it seems so strange.... _Koch._ What’s there strange about it? _Pod._ Of course it’s strange. One’s always been a bachelor, and now to be a married man——