(AS ORIGINALLY PERFORMED AT COVENT GARDEN IN 1832.) _Julia_ Miss F. KEMBLE. _Helen_ Miss TAYLOR. _Master Walter_ Mr. J. S. KNOWLES. _Sir Thomas Clifford_ Mr. C. KEMBLE. _Lord Tinsel_ Mr. WRENCH. _Master Wilford_ Mr. J. MASON. _Modus_ Mr. ABBOTT. _Master Heartwell_ Mr. EVANS. _Gaylove_ Mr. HENRY. _Fathom_ Mr. MEADOWS. _Thomas_ Mr. BARNES. _Stephen_ Mr. PAYNE. _Williams_ Mr. IRWIN. _Simpson_ Mr. BRADY. _Waiter_ Mr. HEATH. _Holdwell_ Mr. BENDER. _Servants_ Mr. J. COOPER. Mr. LOLLETT. ACT I. SCENE I.--A Tavern. On one side SIR THOMAS CLIFFORD, at a table, with wine before him; on the other, MASTER WILFORD, GAYLOVE, HOLDWELL, and SIMPSON, likewise taking wine. _Wilf_. Your wine, sirs! your wine! You do not justice to mine host of the Three Tuns, nor credit to yourselves; I swear the beverage is good! It is as palatable poison as you will purchase within a mile round Ludgate! Drink, gentlemen; make free. You know I am a man of expectations; and hold my money as light as the purse in which I carry it. _Gay_. We drink, Master Wilford. Not a man of us has been chased as yet. _Wilf_. But you fill not fairly, sirs! Look at my measure! Wherefore a large glass, if not for a large draught? Fill, I pray you, else let us drink out of thimbles! This will never do for the friends of the nearest of kin to the wealthiest peer in Britain. _Gay_. We give you joy, Master Wilford, of the prospect of advancement which has so unexpectedly opened to you. _Wilf_. Unexpectedly indeed! But yesterday arrived the news that the Earl's only son and heir had died; and to-day has the Earl himself been seized with a mortal illness. His dissolution is looked for hourly; and I, his cousin in only the third degree, known to him but to be unnoticed by him--a decayed gentleman's son--glad of the title and revenues of a scrivener's clerk--am the undoubted successor to his estates and coronet. _Gay_. Have you been sent for? _Wilf_. No; but I have certified to his agent, Master Walter, the Hunchback, my existence, and peculiar propinquity; and momentarily expect him here. _Gay_. Lives there anyone that may dispute your claim--I mean vexatiously? _Wilf_. Not a man, Master Gaylove. I am the sole remaining branch of the family tree. _Gay_. Doubtless you look for much happiness from this change of fortune? _Wilf_. A world! Three things have I an especial passion for. The finest hound, the finest horse, and the finest wife in the kingdom, Master Gaylove! Gay. The finest wife?