LADY BRACKNELL. That’s not quite the same thing. In fact the two things rarely go together. [Sees Jack and bows to him with icy coldness.] ALGERNON. [To Gwendolen.] Dear me, you are smart! GWENDOLEN. I am always smart! Am I not, Mr. Worthing? JACK. You’re quite perfect, Miss Fairfax. GWENDOLEN. Oh! I hope I am not that. It would leave no room for developments, and I intend to develop in many directions. [Gwendolen and Jack sit down together in the corner.] LADY BRACKNELL. I’m sorry if we are a little late, Algernon, but I was obliged to call on dear Lady Harbury. I hadn’t been there since her poor husband’s death. I never saw a woman so altered; she looks quite twenty years younger. And now I’ll have a cup of tea, and one of those nice cucumber sandwiches you promised me. ALGERNON. Certainly, Aunt Augusta. [Goes over to tea-table.] LADY BRACKNELL. Won’t you come and sit here, Gwendolen? GWENDOLEN. Thanks, mamma, I’m quite comfortable where I am. ALGERNON. [Picking up empty plate in horror.] Good heavens! Lane! Why are there no cucumber sandwiches? I ordered them specially. LANE. [Gravely.] There were no cucumbers in the market this morning, sir. I went down twice. ALGERNON. No cucumbers! LANE. No, sir. Not even for ready money. ALGERNON. That will do, Lane, thank you. LANE. Thank you, sir. [Goes out.] ALGERNON. I am greatly distressed, Aunt Augusta, about there being no cucumbers, not even for ready money. LADY BRACKNELL. It really makes no matter, Algernon. I had some crumpets with Lady Harbury, who seems to me to be living entirely for pleasure now. ALGERNON. I hear her hair has turned quite gold from grief. LADY BRACKNELL. It certainly has changed its colour. From what cause I, of course, cannot say. [Algernon crosses and hands tea.] Thank you. I’ve quite a treat for you to-night, Algernon. I am going to send you down with Mary Farquhar. She is such a nice woman, and so attentive to her husband. It’s delightful to watch them. ALGERNON. I am afraid, Aunt Augusta, I shall have to give up the pleasure of dining with you to-night after all. LADY BRACKNELL. [Frowning.] I hope not, Algernon. It would put my table completely out. Your uncle would have to dine upstairs. Fortunately he is accustomed to that. ALGERNON. It is a great bore, and, I need hardly say, a terrible disappointment to me, but the fact is I have just had a telegram to say that my poor friend Bunbury is very ill again. [Exchanges glances with Jack.] They seem to think I should be with him. LADY BRACKNELL. It is very strange. This Mr. Bunbury seems to suffer from curiously bad health. ALGERNON. Yes; poor Bunbury is a dreadful invalid.