_Old Mir._ Hear you speak, sir! If you had thirty thousand tongues, you could not out-talk thirty thousand pound, sir. _Y. Mir._ Nay, sir, if you won't hear me, I'll begone, sir! I'll take post for Italy this moment. _Old Mir._ Ah, the fellow knows I won't part with him! Well, sir, what have you to say? _Y. Mir._ The universal reception, sir, that marriage has had in the world, is enough to fix it for a public good, and to draw every body into the common cause; but there are some constitutions, like some instruments, so peculiarly singular, that they make tolerable music by themselves, but never do well in a concert. _Old Mir._ Why, this is reason, I must confess, but yet it is nonsense too; for, though you should reason like an angel, if you argue yourself out of a good estate, you talk like a fool. _Y. Mir._ But, sir, if you bribe me into bondage with the riches of Croesus, you leave me but a beggar, for want of my liberty. _Old Mir._ Was ever such a perverse fool heard? 'Sdeath, sir! why did I give you education? was it to dispute me out of my senses? Of what colour, now, is the head of this cane? You'll say, 'tis white, and, ten to one, make me believe it too----I thought that young fellows studied to get money. _Y. Mir._ No, sir, I have studied to despise it; my reading was not to make me rich, but happy, sir. _Old Mir._ There he has me again, now! But, sir, did not I marry to oblige you? _Y. Mir._ To oblige me, sir! in what respect, pray? _Old Mir._ Why, to bring you into the world, sir; wa'n't that an obligation? _Y. Mir._ And, because I would have it still an obligation, I avoid marriage. _Old Mir._ How is that, sir? _Y. Mir._ Because I would not curse the hour I was born. _Old Mir._ Lookye, friend, you may persuade me out of my designs, but I'll command you out of yours; and, though you may convince my reason that you are in the right, yet there is an old attendant of sixty-three, called positiveness, which you, nor all the wits in Italy, shall ever be able to shake: so, sir, you're a wit, and I'm a father: you may talk, but I'll be obeyed. _Y. Mir._ This it is to have the son a finer gentleman than the father; they first give us breeding, that they don't understand; then they turn us out of doors, because we are wiser than themselves. But I'm a little aforehand with the old gentleman. [_Aside._] Sir, you have been pleased to settle a thousand pound sterling a year upon me; in return of which, I have a very great honour for you and your family, and shall take care that your only and beloved son shall do nothing to make him hate his father, or to hang himself. So, dear sir, I'm your very humble servant. [_Runs off._ _Old Mir._ Here, sirrah! rogue! Bob! villain! _Enter_ DUGARD. _Dug._ Ah, sir! 'tis but what he deserves. _Old Mir._ 'Tis false, sir! he don't deserve it: what have you to say against my boy, sir? _Dug._ I shall only repeat your own words.