The Infernal MarriageDisraeli, Benjamin, Earl of Beaconsfield
General
The Infernal Marriage
Disraeli, Benjamin, Earl of Beaconsfield
Gods, Roman -- Fiction; Satire, English
It was the third morning after the Infernal Marriage; the slumbering
Proserpine reposed in the arms of the snoring Pluto. There was a loud
knocking at the chamber-door. Pluto jumped up in the middle of a dream.
‘My life, what is the matter?’ exclaimed Proserpine.
The knocking was repeated and increased. There was also a loud shout of
‘treason, murder, and fire!’
‘What is the matter?’ exclaimed the god, jumping out of bed and seizing
his trident. ‘Who is there?’
‘Your pages, your faithful pages! Treason! treason! For the sake of
Hell, open the door. Murder, fire, treason!’
‘Enter!’ said Pluto, as the door was unlocked.
And Terror and Rage entered.
‘You frightful things, get out of the room!’ cried Proserpine.
‘A moment, my angel!’ said Pluto, ‘a single moment. Be not alarmed, my
best love; I pray you be not alarmed. Well, imps, why am I disturbed?’
‘Oh!’ said Terror. Rage could not speak, but gnashed his teeth and
stamped his feet.
‘O-o-o-h!’ repeated Terror.
‘Speak, cursed imps!’ cried the enraged Pluto; and he raised his arm.
‘A man! a man!’ cried Terror. ‘Treason, treason! a man! a man!’
‘What man?’ said Pluto, in a rage.
‘A man, a live man, has entered Hell!’
‘You don’t say so?’ said Proserpine; ‘a man, a live man. Let me see him
immediately.’
‘Where is he?’ said Pluto; ‘what is he doing?’
‘He is here, there, and everywhere! asking for your wife, and singing
like anything.’
‘Proserpine!’ said Pluto, reproachfully; but, to do the god justice, he
was more astounded than jealous.
‘I am sure I shall be delighted to see him; it is so long since I have
seen a live man,’ said Proserpine. ‘Who can he be? A man, and a live
man! How delightful! It must be a messenger from my mother.’
‘But how came he here?’
‘Ah! how came he here?’ echoed Terror.
‘No time must be lost!’ exclaimed Pluto, scrambling on his robe. ‘Seize
him, and bring him into the council chamber. My charming Proserpine,
excuse me for a moment.’
‘Not at all; I will accompany you.’
‘But, my love, my sweetest, my own, this is business; these are affairs
of state. The council chamber is not a place for you.’
‘And why not?’ said Proserpine. ‘I have no idea of ever leaving you for
a moment. Why not for me as well as for the Fates and the Furies? Am I
not Queen? I have no idea of such nonsense!’
‘My love!’ said the deprecating husband.
‘You don’t go without me,’ said the imperious wife, seizing his robe.
‘I must,’ said Pluto.
‘Then you shall never return,’ said Proserpine.
‘Enchantress! be reasonable.’
‘I never was, and I never will be,’ replied the Goddess.
‘Treason! treason!’ screamed Terror.
‘My love, I must go!’
‘Pluto,’ said Proserpine, ‘understand me once for all, I will not be
contradicted.’
Rage stamped his foot.
‘Proserpine, understand me once for all, it is impossible,’ said the
God, frowning.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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