The Infernal MarriageDisraeli, Benjamin, Earl of Beaconsfield
General
The Infernal Marriage
Disraeli, Benjamin, Earl of Beaconsfield
Gods, Roman -- Fiction; Satire, English
‘My Pluto!’ said the Queen. ‘Is it my Pluto who speaks thus sternly to
me? Is it he who, but an hour ago, a short hour ago, died upon my bosom
in transports and stifled me with kisses! Unhappy woman! wretched,
miserable Proserpine! Oh! my mother! my kind, my affectionate mother!
Have I disobeyed you for this! For this have I deserted you! For this
have I broken your beloved heart!’ She buried her face in the crimson
counterpane, and bedewed its gorgeous embroidery with her fast-flowing
tears.
‘Treason!’ shouted Terror.
‘Ha! ha! ha!’ exclaimed the hysterical Proserpine.
‘What am I to do?’ cried Pluto. ‘Proserpine, my adored, my beloved, my
enchanting Proserpine, compose yourself; for my sake, compose yourself.
I love you! I adore you! You know it! oh! indeed you know it!’
The hysterics increased.
‘Treason! treason!’ shouted Terror.
‘Hold your infernal tongue,’ said Pluto. ‘What do I care for treason
when the Queen is in this state?’ He knelt by the bedside, and tried to
stop her mouth with kisses, and ever and anon whispered his passion. ‘My
Proserpine, I beseech you to be calm; I will do anything you like. Come,
come, then, to the council!’
The hysterics ceased; the Queen clasped him in her arms and rewarded him
with a thousand embraces. Then, jumping up, she bathed her swollen eyes
with a beautiful cosmetic that she and her maidens had distilled from
the flowers of Enna; and, wrapping herself up in her shawl, descended
with his Majesty, who was quite as much puzzled about the cause of this
disturbance as when he was first roused.
Crossing an immense covered bridge, the origin of the Bridge of Sighs at
Venice, over the royal gardens, which consisted entirely of cypress,
the royal pair, preceded by the pages-in-waiting, entered the council
chamber. The council was already assembled. On either side of a throne
of sulphur, from which issued the four infernal rivers of Lethe,
Phlegethon, Cocytus, and Acheron, were ranged the Eumenides and Parcae.
Lachesis and her sisters turned up their noses when they observed
Proserpine; but the Eumenides could not stifle their fury, in spite of
the hints of their more subdued but not less malignant companions.
‘What is all this?’ inquired Pluto.
‘The constitution is in danger,’ said the Parcae in chorus.
‘Both in church and state,’ added the Furies. ‘‘Tis a case of treason
and blasphemy;’ and they waved their torches and shook their whips with
delighted anticipation of their use.
‘Detail the circumstances,’ said Pluto, waving his hand majestically to
Lachesis, in whose good sense he had great confidence.
‘A man, a living man, has entered your kingdom, unknown and unnoticed,’
said Lachesis.
‘By my sceptre, is it true?’ said the astonished King. ‘Is he seized?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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