He thought for a moment, then went on, more sadly: A woman--as I believe
I told you just now--a woman to whom I had caused suffering against my
will--for the most careful of us scatter suffering around them without
their knowledge--a woman to whom I had caused suffering against my will,
revealed to me one evening the sovereign power of this invisible good.
To be good we must needs have suffered; but perhaps it is necessary to
have caused suffering before we can become better. This was brought
home to me that evening. I felt that I had arrived, alone, at that sad
zone of kisses when it seems to us that we are visiting the hovels of
the poor, while she, who had lingered on the road, was still smiling in
the palace of the first days. Love, as men understand it, was dying
between us like a child stricken with a disease come one knows not
whence, a disease that has no pity. We said nothing. It would be
impossible for me to recall what my thoughts were at that earnest
moment. They were doubtless of no significance. I was probably thinking
of the last face I had seen, of the quivering gleam of a lantern at a
deserted street corner; and, nevertheless, everything took place in a
light a thousand times purer, a thousand times higher, than had there
intervened all the forces of pity and love which I command in my
thoughts and my heart. We parted, and not a word was spoken, but at one
and the same moment had we understood our inexpressible thought. We know
now that another love had sprung to life, a love that demands not the
words, the little attentions and smiles of ordinary love. We have never
met again. Perhaps centuries will elapse before we ever do meet again.
"Much is to learn, much to forget,
Through worlds I shall traverse not a few."
before we shall again find ourselves in the same movement of the
soul as on that evening: but we can well afford to wait....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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