right leg, thigh, hand, arm and shoulder, most unflinchingly supported the right foot, as did the other limbs the left. The head alone, with an impartiality that did it honour, maintained a strict neutrality. The truth was, I imagined that all my limbs were endowed with a consciousness of individual existence, and I felt quite satisfied that each and all of them possessed the faculty of reason. I have frequently related this anecdote to my friends; but, I know not how it happened, I never could get them to look upon it in any other light than as a specimen of that kind of fiction which is indulgently termed “drawing the long bow.” It is, however, as true as that I now exist, and relate the fact; and, what is more, the arguments which I am about to give are substantially the same that were used by the rival claimants and their respective supporters. The discussion, I must observe, was opened by the left foot, as being the discontented party, and, like all discontented parties, its language was so very violent, that, had its opinions prevailed, there is no doubt but they would have succeeded in completely overturning my constitution. _Left foot._ Brother (addressing the right with a great show of affection, but at the same time with a spasmodic twitch of strong discontentment in the big toe), Brother, I don’t know how it is that you have during our whole lives always taken the liberty to consider yourself a better foot than I am; and I would feel much obliged to you if you would tell me why it is that you claim this superiority over me. Are we not both equal in every thing? _Right foot._ Be quiet, my dear brother. We _are_ equal in every thing, and why, therefore, are you discontented? _Left foot._ Because you presume to consider yourself the better and more useful foot. _Right foot._ Let us not dispute, my dear brother; each is equally necessary to the other. What could I do without _you_? Nothing, or at least very little; and what could you do without _me_? Very little indeed. We were not made to quarrel. _Left foot_ (_very hot_). I am not disposed to quarrel, but I trust you will admit that I am as good as you, every way your equal, and begad in many things your superior. Do you hear that? _I_ am not disposed to quarrel, you rascal, and how dare you say so? Here there was a strong sensation among all the right members, who felt themselves insulted through this outrage offered to their chief supporter. _Right foot._ Since you choose to insult me without provocation, I must stand upon my right---- _Left_ (_shoving off to a distance_). RIGHT!--there, again, what right have you to be termed “_right_” any more than I?--(“Bravo!--go it, _Left_; pitch into him; we are equal to him and his,” from the friends of the Left. The matter was now likely to become serious, and to end in a row.)