“What’s the matter there below?” said the Head; “don’t be fools, and make yourselves ridiculous. What would either of you be with a crutch or a cork-leg? which is only another name for a wooden shoe, any day.” _Right foot._ Since he provokes me, I tell him, that ever since the world began, the prejudice of mankind in all nations has been in favour of the right foot and the right hand. (Strong sensation among the left members). Surely he ought not to be ignorant of the proverb, which says, when a man is peculiarly successful in any thing he undertakes, “that man knew how to go about it--_he put the right foot foremost_!” (Cheers from the right party.) _Left._ That’s mere special pleading--the right foot there does not mean you, because you happen to be termed such; but it means the foot which, from its position under the circumstances, happens to be the proper one. (Loud applause from the left members.) _Right foot._ You know you are weak and feeble and awkward when compared to me, and can do little of yourself. (Hurra! that’s a poser!) _Left._ Why, certainly, I grant I am the gentleman, and that you are very useful to me, you plebeian. (“Bravo!” from the left hand; “ours is the aristocratic side--hear the operatives! Come, hornloof, what have you to say to that?”) _Right hand_ (_addressing his opponent._) You may be the aristocratic party if you will, but we are the useful. Who are the true defenders of the constitution, you poor sprig of nobility? _Left hand._ The heart is with us, the seat and origin of life and power. Can you boast as much? (Loud cheers.) _Right foot._ Why, have you never heard it said of an excellent and worthy man--a fellow of the right sort, a trump--as a mark of his sterling qualities, “his heart’s in the _right_ place!” How then can it be in the _left_? (Much applause.) _Left._ Which is an additional proof that mine is _that_ place and not yours. Yes, you rascal, we _have_ the heart, and you cannot deny it. _Right._ We admit he resides with you, but it is merely because you are the weaker side, and require his protection. The best part of his energies are given to us, and we are satisfied. _Left._ You admit, then, that our party keeps yours in power, and why not at once give up your right to precedency?--why not resign? _Right._ Let us put it to the vote. _Left._ With all my heart.