“You must know that afther Charles the First happened to miss his head one day, havin’ lost it while playin’ a game of ‘Heads an’ Points’ with the Scotch, that a man called Nolly Rednose, or Oliver Crummle, was sent over to Ireland with a parcel of breekless Highlanders an’ English Bodaghs to subduvate the Irish, an’ as many of the Prodestans as had been friends to the late king, who were called Royalists. Now, it appears by many larned transfigurations that Nolly Rednose had in his army a man named Balgruntie, or the Hog of Cupar; a fellow who was as coorse as sackin’, as cunnin’ as a fox, an’ as gross as the swine he was named afther. Rednose, there is no doubt of it, was as nate a hand at takin’ a town or castle as ever went about it; but then, any town that didn’t surrendher at discretion was sure to experience little mitigation at his hands; an’ whenever he was bent on wickedness, he was sure to say his prayers at the commencement of every siege or battle; that is, he intended to show no marcy in, for he’d get a book, an’ openin’ it at the head of his army, he’d cry, ‘Ahem, my brethren, let us praise God by endeavourin’ till sing sich or sich a psalm;’ an’ God help the man, woman, or child, that came before him after that. Well an’ good: it so happened that a squadron of his psalm-singers were dispatched by him from Enniskillen, where he stopped to rendher assistance to a part of his army that O’Neill was leatherin’ down near Dungannon, an’ on their way they happened to take up their quarthers for the night at the Mill of Aughentain. Now, above all men in the creation, who should be appointed to lead this same squadron but the Hog of Cupar. ‘Balgruntie, go off wid you,’ said Crummle, when administering his instructions to him; ‘but be sure that wherever you meet a fat royalist on the way, to pay your respects to him as a Christian ought,’ says he; ‘an’, above all things, my dear brother Balgruntie, _don’t neglect your devotions_, otherwise our arms can’t prosper; and be sure,’ says he, with a pious smile, ‘that if they promulgate opposition, you will make them bleed anyhow, either in purse or person; or if they provoke the grace o’ God, take a little from them in both; an’ so the Lord’s name be praised, yeamen!’