But all of us, in our different ways, were more than a little
uncomfortable. The whole air of the breakfast-table was one of
dissimulation. Gordon Hughes made occasional efforts in conversation that
were too glaringly irrelevant to the real subject of our thoughts. And
with each beginning of his, the others, particularly Olive, Mrs. Jervaise,
and little Nora Bailey, plunged gallantly into the new topic with
spasmodic fervour that expended itself in a couple of minutes, and
horribly emphasised the blank of silence that inevitably followed. We
talked as people talk who are passing the time while they wait for some
great event. But what event we could be awaiting, it was hard to
imagine--unless it were the sudden return of Brenda, with or without
Banks.
And, even when we had all finished, and were free to separate, we still
lingered for unnecessary minutes in the breakfast-room, as if we were
compelled to maintain our pretence until the last possible moment.
Old Jervaise was the first to go. He had made less effort to disguise his
preoccupation than any of us, and now his exit had something of
abruptness, as if he could no longer bear to maintain any further
semblance of disguise. One could only infer from the manner of his going
that he passionately desired either solitude or the sole companionship of
those with whom he could speak plainly of his distress.
We took our cue from him with an evident alacrity. Every one looked as if
he or she were saying something that began with a half-apologetic
"Well..."; and Mrs. Jervaise interpreted our spirit when she remarked to
the company in general, "Well, it's very late, I'm afraid, and I dare say
we've all got a lot to do before we start for church. We shall have to
leave soon after half-past ten," she explained.
Frank had already left the room when she said that, she herself went out
with her elder daughter, and the four of us who remained, all visitors,
were left to pair with each other as we chose. It was Miss Tattersall who
determined the arrangement. She cleverly avoided the submissive glance of
little Nora Bailey, and asked me unequivocally if I would care to take a
"stroll" with her in the garden.
I agreed with a touch of eagerness and followed her, wondering if her
intriguing sentence before breakfast had been nothing more than a clever
piece of chicane, planned to entice me into a tete-a-tete.
(I admit that this may sound like a detestable symptom of vanity on my
part, but, indeed, I do not mean to imply that she cared a snap of the
fingers for me personally. She was one of those women who must have some
man in tow, and it happened that I was the only one available for that
week-end. Frank was supposed to be in love with Miss Bailey; Gordon Hughes
was engaged to some girl in the north, and used that defence without shame
when it suited him.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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