"Yes," replied Schlome, raising his head; "yes, I believe in Him. I
sought Him in my boyhood, when I imagined that he was a God of wrath and
vengeance, the light and refuge of one people alone; I sought Him in my
youth, when I imagined that He was a God of love and mercy, who yet was
only gracious to those who worshiped Him with certain forms and
ceremonies. Later on, I really found Him and knew Him as He is. He is
neither a God of wrath nor of mercy, but a God of justice and necessity;
He _is_, and all are in Him, even those who deny Him...."
He had risen in his excitement, and as he stood in the moonlight before
Moses, the latter felt strangely moved; it seemed to him almost as if
Schlome's face shone. He did not know how it happened, but he could not
help looking at the image of Christ opposite to him in the monastery
garden, which stood out sharp and distinct in the clear pale light
against the dark sky. "And He over there?" he asked, almost fearing the
words he had uttered.
"He," answered the Meschumed, his voice sounding strangely soft and
gentle, "He was a great and noble man, perhaps the best man that ever
lived. But He is dead, and His spirit has died out--died out even in
those who call Him their Redeemer! The fools! Through himself alone can
man be redeemed--through himself and in himself...."
He ceased, and Moses was silent also.
The two men sat side by side for some time without speaking, each busied
with his own thoughts.
At length Moses asked: "And what do you want with the child?"
"I want to be her teacher," replied Schlome, "for I have learned to love
her dearly in the few interviews I dared to have with her. And believe
me--she is no common child! Oh, had she only been a boy! I have often
thought; and then, again, I have been thankful she was a girl--you can
guess why, perhaps. She has a real hunger for knowledge, and a strange
longing for the light of truth...."
Here the other interrupted him impatiently. "You are dreaming,
Schlome!... Esther is scarcely nine years old, and I, her own father,
have noticed nothing of the kind in her."
"Because you wouldn't see it," was the answer; "because you wouldn't see
it, or, forgive me, couldn't see it. You look upon it as dreaming or
folly, or else think it childish. But I know what it is for a young
heart to have to bear that longing alone. Believe me, it would be a sin
to let it die out for want of food. I therefore beg of you to allow me
to be Esther's teacher!"
There was another long silence between the men.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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