Dusk had fallen, and candles were brought. She repeated the beautiful
old prayer dutifully, that light and peace should dwell in the house,
and that God's mercy should avert every sorrow, pain, and grief.... She
knew the few words of the formula by heart, and yet this evening they
fell slowly from her lips. She doubted that she was worthy to pray to
God--she a Jewess, who had in her possession a letter from her Christian
lover!
Overcome with fatigue and anxiety, she sank upon a chair, and looked at
the outside of the letter. It was sealed. It was a sin to break a seal
upon the Sabbath. "It is not my greatest sin," she thought, as she tore
open the letter.
Herr von Negrusz wrote of his love for her, and that he must die or go
mad without her. "Become a Christian, and be my wife. The sin against
your husband will not be so great as the sin against our love, if you
refuse. I know that you love me. Only tell me that you will come to me,
and all else is my care."
She crushed the letter in her hand, and threw it down. Then she picked
it up, straightened it out, and reread it. Her hands fell from the
table, and bending over them, her tears fell fast. She stammered
convulsively: "O my God! help me, enlighten me. Let me not become like
Esther Freudenthal, and end my days in shame and remorse. I have been a
faithful wife.... I can not break my marriage vows ... but I love him,
and feel that life is worthless away from him. He is a good man ... but
were he as wicked as the hussar who ruined Esther.... O my God! desert
me not...."
Crying thus in the agony of her soul, she did not hear the door open, or
a man's step behind her. A hand was laid upon her shoulder. She looked
up, her husband stood before her.
"Thank God!" he cried, joyfully, "I am home at last. The storm has made
the roads...." He stopped and looked at her.... "Chane," he added,
anxiously, "how ill you look! what is the matter?"
She did not answer, and his glance fell on the letter. He reached toward
it, and she did not try to stop him. He read the first line, and became
as pale as death. "To you--writing to you thus!" He read a little
further, and then looked at the signature. "From him! This is a blow I
did not expect." He read on. His eyes seemed starting out of their
sockets, his hand trembled, and his face showed how he suffered. "What?"
he cried, when he had reached a certain point. "What? Is this true?" He
ceased, and she slipped on to the floor and clasped his knees, while he
finished reading the letter.
He then threw it on the table, and bending over her, said sternly, "Rise
and be seated."
She obeyed.
"I only wish to know one thing," he went on, standing in front of
her--"the Christian writes that you love him.... Is it not a lie?...
Chane, the Christian lies?..."
Lower and lower she bent her head. "Kill me," she said, "for I deserve
it. What he writes is true. I do love him."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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