'Tell me everything. When things are discussed openly it is possible
to arrange them satisfactorily, but dissimulation is apt to have an
unhappy ending. Isn't that so, eh? It would be very painful for us to
disagree again and to have a repetition of what caused us so much grief
and trouble.'
At this Louise burst into a violent fit of sobbing. She clasped Pauline
round the waist convulsively, and hid her face against her friend's
shoulder while stammering amidst her tears:
'Oh! it is very unkind of you to speak of that again! You ought never
to have mentioned it again, never! Send me away at once, rather than
pain me like this!'
It was in vain that Pauline tried to soothe her.
'No, no!' the weeping girl went on; 'I understand it all. You still
suspect me. Why do you speak to me of secrets? I have no secret at all.
I do everything quite openly, so that you may have no cause to find
fault with me or reproach me. I am not to blame because things happen
which disturb you--I who am even careful how I laugh, though you don't
know it----But, if you don't believe me, I had better go away at once.
Let me go! Let me go!'
They were quite alone in that far-reaching space. The kitchen-garden,
scorched by the west wind, lay at their feet like a piece of waste
land, while, further away, the calm sea spread out in its immensity.
'But listen to what I have to say,' Pauline cried. 'I am not
reproaching you at all; on the contrary, I want to encourage you.'
Then, taking Louise by the shoulders and forcing her to raise her eyes,
she said to her gently, like a mother questioning her daughter:
'You love Lazare? And he, too, loves you, I am sure.'
The blood surged to Louise's cheeks. She trembled yet more violently,
and tried to liberate herself and escape.
'Good gracious! How clumsily I must express myself if you can't
understand me!' Pauline resumed. 'Do you think I should talk to you on
such a subject only to torture you? You love each other, don't you?
Well, I want to get you married to one another! It's very simple!'
Louise, distracted, ceased to struggle. Stupor checked the flow of her
tears, rendered her motionless, with her hands hanging inertly beside
her.
'What! And yourself?' she gasped.
'I, my dear? Well, I have been questioning myself very seriously for
some weeks past, at night-time especially, during those waking hours
when one's mind sees things in a clearer light. And I have recognised
that I only feel sincere friendship for Lazare. Haven't you been able
to see as much for yourself? We are comrades, chums; like a couple of
boys, in fact. We do not feel those loving transports----'
She hesitated, trying to find some suitable phrase which would give an
appearance of probability to her falsehoods. But her rival still gazed
at her with fixed eyes, as though she had discovered the meaning which
was hidden beneath her words.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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