She felt a trifle lonely and inadequate when she saw Armitage drive
off; but, as she told herself, her sense of loneliness and inadequacy
were not due to the fact that she was frightened at being alone with
Frank and his ghostly enemies, but because she had determined to
fight those ghostly enemies; to force Frank, as far as in her lay, to
paint the portrait of himself, and finish it at all costs. This, she
persuaded herself, would be a real and final defeat of his fantastic
tendencies, his irregularity, his fits of complete laziness whenever
ideas did not beat loud at the door of his imagination. It was absurd
to sit at home and wait for the idea to call; art had to look for ideas
in all sorts of places. And it was with a fine show of justification
that she said to herself that many of his wild ideas would be routed
if she could only make him go through with this portrait, and see
him stand in front of the finished work and say, "It is all I ever
hoped it would be, and I am still a sane man." Surely if she could
help in any way to make him do that, it would be no slight cause for
self-congratulation. Genius was often bitter, but Frank was not that;
more often it was fantastic, and Frank should be fantastic no longer.
"What harm can come to him through this?" she reasoned. "I am quite
sure"--already she liked to tell herself she was quite sure--"that
he will not lose his personality, because such things do not happen.
That he will be awfully savage and silent while he is painting I fully
expect; but that does not matter. What does matter is that he should
see, when it is finished, what a goose he has been."
Breakfast had just been brought in when Margery returned to the studio,
but Frank was still working. She sat down at once and began to make
tea.
"You'd much better have your breakfast now," she said, "and go on
working afterwards; but I suppose, as usual, you will let everything
get cold and nasty. Eggs and bacon and cold grouse. I'm going to begin."
Margery helped herself to eggs and bacon, and poured out some tea; but
she had scarcely caught the flavor of her first sip when Frank suddenly
left his canvas and sat down by her.
"I'm tired," he said, "and my hand is heavy."
"It will be lighter after breakfast," said Margery, cheerfully. "Eat,
Frank."
"No, I shall eat soon. I want to sit by you and look at you. Margery
darling, what a trial it must be to have me for a husband!"
There was something very wistful and pathetic in his voice, and
Margery felt moved.
"Ah, Frank," she said, "I don't find it so."
Frank was looking at her with eager eyes, as a dog looks at his master.
He had taken up her hand, and was stroking it gently with his long,
nervous fingers. Suddenly he jumped up.
"I see, I see," he said. "I have been drawing something that wasn't me
at all. I can do it now. Margery, will you come and stand very close to
me, so that when I look in the glass I can see you too?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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