"It is not pleasant," said he. "It is not amusing to go to hell, as
I have gone. This is not a nice book to read; I wish now I had never
written it--'The Life and Adventures of Frank Trevor,' by himself."
The horror of great darkness had come on Margery. She felt the
physical result, which is stronger than all things in the world except
love. She loved Frank and Frank loved her. There was still a chance.
Frank had picked up from the table the little yellow programme which he
had painted and held it in his hands, turning it over and over.
"It won't break," he said, "it won't bend. My God! what am I to
do? But--but I have written my judgment book; yet there are some
chapters which I have not written. I cannot remember them. They were
some chapters you and I wrote together about-- But you will have
forgotten--you gave me up. Margy, cannot you remember what they were?
There was one chapter we wrote down in that little creek where we went
to-day."
Frank stopped, and looked about the room as if he were searching for
something. In that pause love triumphed. Margery went to him quickly.
The physical revolt was dead, for she loved him. She laid her hand on
his shoulder.
"Frank," she said, "do you remember that you asked me whether I wished
you to go on with that picture? I said I did, but I am here to tell
you that I have changed my mind. I think you had better not go on with
it. Tear it up, burn it. It is not good; it is devilish. And when you
have done that we will go and find those chapters you spoke of, which
we wrote together, you and I alone. Did you think they were lost? Could
you not remember them? I remember them all. I have them quite safe.
There are none of them lost."
For a moment a look of intense relief came over Frank's face. Even in
the darkness Margery could see that it had changed utterly. She glanced
with sick horror at the portrait which only five minutes before she had
thought was actually her husband. But almost immediately he shook his
head.
"No, I must finish it now," he said. "I do not believe in death-bed
repentance. There is very little more to do, for I have worked quickly
to-day. Just one thing wants doing--a shadow is to be deepened in the
mouth. Do you see what I mean? No, it is too dark for you to see it,
though I can see it quite clearly. I wish I could explain to you what
I mean, but you will never understand. Don't you see it is I who stand
there on that easel? This thing which you think is me is nearly dead.
It is like Pygmalion, isn't it, only the other way round? He made his
statue come to life, but I have put my life into that picture. If ever
the story of Pygmalion is true, I could have done that; it is easier
than what I have done."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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