The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
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The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
[Illustration: "THE HEAD PROTRUDED."]
"Good afternoon all," said the _Schnorrer_ courteously.
"One moment," called out the philanthropist, when he found his tongue.
"The bag is not empty--there are a number of packets still left in
it."
"So much the better!" said Manasseh soothingly. "You will be saved
from the temptation to continue shedding the blood of the poor, and I
shall be saved from spending _all_ your bounty upon salmon--an
extravagance you were right to deplore."
"But--but!" began Grobstock.
"No--no 'buts,'" protested Manasseh, waving his bag deprecatingly.
"You were right. You admitted you were wrong before; shall I be less
magnanimous now? In the presence of all these witnesses I acknowledge
the justice of your rebuke. I ought not to have wasted two guineas on
one fish. It was not worth it. Come over here, and I will tell you
something." He walked out of earshot of the by-standers, turning down
a side alley opposite the stall, and beckoned with his salmon bag. The
East India Director had no course but to obey. He would probably have
followed him in any case, to have it out with him, but now he had a
humiliating sense of being at the _Schnorrer's_ beck and call.
"Well, what more have you to say?" he demanded gruffly.
"I wish to save you money in future," said the beggar in low,
confidential tones. "That Jonathan is a son of the separation! The
salmon is not worth two guineas--no, on my soul! If you had not come
up I should have got it for twenty-five shillings. Jonathan stuck on
the price when he thought you would buy. I trust you will not let me
be the loser by your arrival, and that if I should find less than
seventeen shillings in the bag you will make it up to me."
The bewildered financier felt his grievance disappearing as by sleight
of hand.
Manasseh added winningly: "I know you are a gentleman, capable of
behaving as finely as any Sephardi."
This handsome compliment completed the _Schnorrer's_ victory, which
was sealed by his saying, "And so I should not like you to have it on
your soul that you had done a poor man out of a few shillings."
Grobstock could only remark meekly: "You will find more than seventeen
shillings in the bag."
"Ah, why were you born a Tedesco!" cried Manasseh ecstatically. "Do
you know what I have a mind to do? To come and be your Sabbath-guest!
Yes, I will take supper with you next Friday, and we will welcome the
Bride--the holy Sabbath--together! Never before have I sat at the
table of a Tedesco--but you--you are a man after my own heart. Your
soul is a son of Spain. Next Friday at six--do not forget."
"But--but I do not have Sabbath-guests," faltered Grobstock.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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