The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
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The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
To the logical adult it will be obvious that the little girl's
obstinacy put the breakfast still further back; but then, obstinate
little girls are not logical, and when Rachel had been beaten she
would eat no breakfast at all. She sat sullenly in the corner, her
pretty face swollen by weeping, and her great black eyes suffused with
tears. Only her father could coax her then. He would go so far as to
allow her to nurse "Rebbitzin," without reminding her that the
creature's touch would make her forget all she knew, and convert her
into a "cat's-head." And certainly Rachel always forgot not to touch
the cat. Possibly the basis of her father's psychological superstition
was the fact that the cat is an unclean animal, not to be handled,
for he would not touch puss himself, though her pious title of
"Rebbitzin," or Rabbi's wife, was the invention of this master of
nicknames. But for such flashes no one would have suspected the stern
little man of humour. But he had it--dry. He called the cat
"Rebbitzin" ever since the day she refused to drink milk after meat.
Perhaps she was gorged with the meat. But he insisted that the cat had
caught religion through living in a Jewish family, and he developed a
theory that she would not eat meat till it was _kosher_, so that in
its earlier stages it might be exposed without risk of feline larceny.
Cats are soothing to infants, but they ceased to satisfy Rachel when
she grew up. Her education, while it gratified Her Majesty's
Inspectors, was not calculated to eradicate the domestic rebel in her.
At school she learnt of the existence of two Hebrew words, called
_Moudeh anî_, but it was not till some time after that it flashed upon
her that they were closely related to _Médiâni_, and the discovery did
not improve her opinion of her mother. She was a bonny child, who
promised to be a beautiful girl, and her teachers petted her. They
dressed well, these teachers, and Rachel ceased to consider
Flutter-Duck's Sabbath shawl the standard of taste and splendour. Ere
she was in her teens she grumbled at her home surroundings, and even
fell foul of the all-pervading fur, thereby quarrelling with her
bread and butter in more senses than one. She would open the
window--strangely fastidious--to eat her bread and butter off the
broad ledge outside the room, but often the fur only came flying the
faster to the spot, as if in search of air; and in the winter her
pretentious queasiness set everybody remonstrating and shivering in
the sudden draught.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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