The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"But most _Schnorrers_ be Synagogue-knockers!"
"Most _Schnorrers_ are Congregation-men or Psalms-men," retorted the
Spaniard witheringly. "But I call it debasing. What! To assist at the
services for a fee! To worship one's Maker for hire! Under such
conditions to pray is to work." His breast swelled with majesty and
scorn.
"I cannot call it vork," protested the _Schnorrer_. "Vy at dat rate
you vould make out dat de minister vorks? or de preacher? Vy, I reckon
fourteen pounds a year to my services as Congregation-man."
"Fourteen pounds! As much as that?"
"Yes, you see dere's my private customers as vell as de Synagogue. Ven
dere is mourning in a house dey cannot alvays get together ten friends
for de services, so I make von. How can you call that vork? It is
friendship. And the more dey pay me de more friendship I feel,"
asserted Yankelé with a twinkle. "Den de Synagogue allows me a little
extra for announcing de dead."
In those primitive times, when a Jewish newspaper was undreamt of, the
day's obituary was published by a peripatetic _Schnorrer_, who went
about the Ghetto rattling a pyx--a copper money-box with a handle and
a lid closed by a padlock. On hearing this death-rattle, anyone who
felt curious would ask the _Schnorrer_:
"Who's dead to-day?"
"So-and-so ben So-and-so--funeral on such a day--mourning service at
such an hour," the _Schnorrer_ would reply, and the enquirer would
piously put something into the "byx," as it was called. The collection
was handed over to the Holy Society--in other words, the Burial
Society.
"P'raps you call that vork?" concluded Yankelé, in timid challenge.
"Of course I do. What do you call it?"
"Valking exercise. It keeps me healty. Vonce von of my customers (from
whom I _schnorred_ half-a-crown a veek) said he was tired of my coming
and getting it every Friday. He vanted to compound mid me for six
pound a year, but I vouldn't."
"But it was a very fair offer. He only deducted ten shillings for the
interest on his money."
"Dat I didn't mind. But I vanted a pound more for his depriving me of
my valking exercise, and dat he vouldn't pay, so he still goes on
giving me de half-crown a veek. Some of dese charitable persons are
terribly mean. But vat I vant to say is dat I carry de byx mostly in
the streets vere my customers lay, and it gives me more standing as a
_Schnorrer_."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account