The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
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The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"Don't you know?" said the Pole, astonished. "Ven a man has Year-Time,
he feels charitable for de day."
"Do you mean when he commemorates the anniversary of the death of one
of his family? We Sephardim call that 'making years'! But are there
enough Year-Times, as you call them, in your Synagogue?"
"Dere might be more--I only make about fifteen pounds. Our colony is,
as you say, too new. De Globe Road Cemetery is as empty as a Synagogue
on veek-days. De faders have left _deir_ faders on de Continent, and
kept many Year-Times out of de country. But in a few years many faders
and moders must die off here, and every parent leaves two or tree sons
to have Year-Times, and every child two or tree broders and a fader.
Den every day more German Jews come here--vich means more and more to
die. I tink indeed it vould be fair to double this item."
"No, no; stick to facts. It is an iniquity to speculate in the
misfortunes of our fellow-creatures."
"Somebody must die dat I may live," retorted Yankelé roguishly; "de
vorld is so created. Did you not quote, 'Charity delivers from death'?
If people lived for ever, _Schnorrers_ could not live at all."
"Hush! The world could not exist without _Schnorrers_. As it is
written, 'And Repentance and _Prayer_ and CHARITY avert the evil
decree.' Charity is put last--it is the climax--the greatest thing on
earth. And the _Schnorrer_ is the greatest man on earth; for it stands
in the Talmud, 'He who causes is greater than he who does.' Therefore,
the _Schnorrer_ who causes charity is even greater than he who gives
it."
"Talk of de devil," said Yankelé, who had much difficulty in keeping
his countenance when Manasseh became magnificent and dithyrambic. "Vy,
dere is Greenbaum, whose fader vas buried yesterday. Let us cross over
by accident and vish him long life."
"Greenbaum dead! Was that the Greenbaum on 'Change, who was such a
rascal with the wenches?"
"De same," said Yankelé. Then approaching the son, he cried, "Good
Sabbath, Mr. Greenbaum; I vish you long life. Vat a blow for de
community!"
"It comforts me to hear you say so," said the son, with a sob in his
voice.
"Ah, yes!" said Yankelé chokingly. "Your fader vas a great and good
man--just my size."
[Illustration: "'YOUR FADER VAS A GREAT AND GOOD MAN--JUST MY SIZE.'"]
"I've already given them away to Baruch the glazier," replied the
mourner.
"But he has his glaziering," remonstrated Yankelé. "I have noting but
de clothes I stand in, and dey don't fit me half so vell as your
fader's vould have done."
"Baruch has been very unfortunate," replied Greenbaum defensively.
"He had a misfortune in the winter, and he has never got straight yet.
A child of his died, and, unhappily, just when the snowballing was at
its height, so that he lost seven days by the mourning." And he moved
away.
"Did I not say work was uncertain?" cried Manasseh.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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