The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
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The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"A child could sum it up," concluded Manasseh severely. Yankelé was
subdued to genuine respect and consternation by da Costa's marvellous
memory and arithmetical genius. But he rallied immediately. "Of
course, I also reckoned on a dowry mid my bride, if only a hundred
pounds."
"Well, invested in Consols, that would not bring you four pounds
more," replied Manasseh instantly.
"The rest vill be made up in extra free meals," Yankelé answered no
less quickly. "For ven I take your daughter off your hands you vill be
able to afford to invite me more often to your table dan you do now."
"Not at all," retorted Manasseh, "for now that I know how well off you
are I shall no longer feel I am doing a charity."
"Oh, yes, you vill," said Yankelé insinuatingly. "You are too much a
man of honour to know as a private philantropist vat I have told de
marriage-broker, de fader-in-law and de fellow _Schnorrer_. Besides, I
vould have de free meals from you as de son-in-law, not de
_Schnorrer_."
"In that relation I should also have free meals from you," rejoined
Manasseh.
"I never dared to tink you vould do me de honour. But even so I can
never give you such good meals as you give me. So dere is still a
balance in my favour."
"That is true," said da Costa thoughtfully. "But you have still about
a guinea to make up."
Yankelé was driven into a corner at last. But he flashed back,
without perceptible pause, "You do not allow for vat I save by my
piety. I fast twenty times a year, and surely dat is at least anoder
guinea per annum."
"But you will have children," retorted da Costa.
Yankelé shrugged his shoulders.
"Dat is de affair of de Holy One, blessed be He. Ven He sends dem He
vill provide for dem. You must not forget, too, dat mid _your_
daughter de dowry vould be noting so small as a hundred pounds."
"My daughter will have a dowry befitting her station, certainly," said
Manasseh, with his grandest manner; "but then I had looked forward to
her marrying a king of _Schnorrers_."
"Vell, but ven I marry her I shall be."
"How so?"
"I shall have _schnorred_ your daughter--the most precious thing in
the world! And _schnorred_ her from a king of _Schnorrers_, too!! And
I shall have _schnorred_ your services as marriage-broker into de
bargain!!!"
CHAPTER IV.
SHOWING HOW THE ROYAL WEDDING WAS ARRANGED.
Manasseh Bueno Barzillai Azevedo da Costa was so impressed by his
would-be son-in-law's last argument that he perpended it in silence
for a full minute. When he replied, his tone showed even more respect
than had been infused into it by the statement of the aspirant's
income. Manasseh was not of those to whom money is a fetish; he
regarded it merely as something to be had for the asking. It was
intellect for which he reserved his admiration. That was strictly not
transferable.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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