There is still one great power that we have not mentioned, and one who
demands, too, homage by kisses, _i.e._, the devil; but, in order that
the humility shown to him may be as great as possible, he must be kissed
on his behind, _i.e._, on the place where the back ceases to be called
the back. Old pictures of the Sabbath on Blocksberg exhibit to us his
Satanic majesty, in the guise of a goat or cat, sitting on a high seat,
while his worshippers reverently approach and kiss him under his tail.
In several confessions of witches we find this kiss still more closely
described: “The devil has a big tail, and under it a sort of face, but
with this face he never speaks, as the only use he makes of it is to let
his most devoted followers kiss the same; for kissing this face is
regarded as an especially great honour.” This somewhat awkward kiss
occurs, moreover, in several sagas. In _Harehyrden_ the Jeppe gives up
his magic flute to the king on condition that the latter kisses his ass
under its tail. It can also be shown in actual life, and we have some
anecdotes from the Middle Ages which seem to prove that the _podex_-kiss
was used as a derisory punishment. There is also a story told of a merry
knight, once upon a time, compelling a party of monks to pay their
respects to their abbot in the aforesaid less dignified way.
Kisses _in ano_ seem also to have been required of neophytes on their
reception into certain secret societies.
The part this kiss plays in insulting speech ought to be sufficiently
well known. The Romans ere now spoke about _lingere culum_ or _lambere
nates_; the Germans more decently say: _Küss mich da ich sitz’_ (Kiss me
where I sit), or _Er kann mich küssen da wo ich keine Nase habe_ (He can
kiss me where I have no nose). Frenchmen even use the last mentioned
paraphrastic expression. It is told in an old poem about Theodore de
Beza, whose youth was, as you are aware, a very dissipated one, that, on
one occasion, he said of a lady that he would like to kiss her, but he
did not know how he could manage to do so as her nose was far too long.
When the lady learnt this she wittily replied:
... Pour si peu ne tenez,
Car si cela seulement vous en garde!
J’ai bien pour vous un visage sans nez.[18]
We have no knowledge if this offer tempted the rigid Calvinist that was
to be; but the lady was undoubtedly young, and even if he had not found
her face so remarkably beautiful, yet it would have been very different
had the invitation come from an old crone, as the well-known saying,
“_baiser le cul de la vieille_,” implies the deepest ignominy that can
befall a man, at any rate a gambler--viz., to lose without scoring a
point.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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