“Do you think she does not know?” I said. “It was not for nothing that
your brother took such dreadful means of escape. You may be sure she
suspects the worst, even if she does not know.”
“If I could think that!” he said. It gave him a little composure. The
mere idea that there was someone to whom he could speak freely was a
support. Even to talk it over with me was something. We had been to the
house of death to see that all was ready for next day’s melancholy
business, and the sight of Mrs. Colin done up in new crape, with the
white streamers of a coquettish widow’s cap setting off her commonplace
comeliness, had been almost more than either of us could bear. For my
part, everything seemed more mysterious to me in the light of this wife.
Had Colin squandered the family substance in luxurious chambers, at the
feet of one of those beautiful harpies who are never satisfied with
luxury, it would have been more comprehensible. But the lodgings in
Bloomsbury and the landlady’s daughter seemed to throw an air of
burlesque upon the tragedy. The accessories ought to have been bad and
vicious, not respectable and commonplace. But it seems there are many
ways of courting ruin; and there must have been other unknown chapters
in his life before he came to this. Perhaps, indeed, the hasty marriage,
the retirement into this shabby retreat, were of themselves efforts to
get back into a better way. I walked along with Charley to the house of
the doctor, in which his father and sister still were, meaning to leave
him there; but he clutched at my arm. “You’ve been through it all,” he
said, in a broken voice. Charlotte came down to us in the dining-room of
the doctor’s house, the one corresponding to that in which the first
chapter of our tragedy had been enacted. She was very pale, yet greeted
us with a smile. Her father was always the same--quite comfortable,
suspecting nothing, now and then asking if Colin had gone home. “‘The
best place for him, Chatty, the best place for him,’ he says to me,” she
said, the tears springing to her eyes, “and we must let him think so,
the doctor says. He says, ‘You must do the London business, Charley. We
must keep it up as long as we can.’”
“If there is any business to do--or if anybody will ever trust us
more,” Charley said.
She had been pale enough before, but she seemed to me to grow paler,
almost ghastly. “Trust us!” she said, in a faint voice. “Is it so bad as
that--have we broken trust?”
“Chatty, I don’t know how you’ll bear it. We are ruined, I think,” the
young man cried.
She waved her hand as if this was nothing. “What do you mean about
trust?” she asked. “Is there anything that we cannot fulfil?”
“I don’t know how the ‘works’ are to go on. I don’t know how we are to
live. We are pledged and bound on every side, and I am not clever, like
my father. We will have to sacrifice everything.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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