Next day, at noon, was to be the time. I ordered a carriage from the
nearest town, not without feeling the risk that the old man might
perceive it was not his own, and inquire into the meaning of it. Every
step of the way was beset by risks; but still, if it had to be done--“if
’twere done when ’tis done, then it were well it were done quickly.”
Those words had haunted me before. I settled everything. I made her come
out with me to get a little air in the afternoon. “You are killing
yourself,” I said. “It is this that makes you so nervous and unlike
yourself.” She consented, though it was against her will. A woman who
had been all her life in their service, who was to go with them, whom
Charlotte treated, as she said, “like one of ourselves,” had charge of
Mr. Campbell in the meantime. And I think Charlotte got a little
pleasure from her unusual excursion. She was very tremulous, as if she
had almost forgotten the way to walk, and leant upon my arm in a way
which was very sweet to me. No word of love had ever passed between us;
and she did not love me, save as she loved Charley and Harry, and the
rest. I think I had a place among them, at the end of the brothers. But
yet she had an instinctive knowledge of my heart. And she knew that to
lean upon me, to show that she needed me, was the way to please me most.
We wandered about there for a time in a sort of forlorn happiness; then,
with mutual impulse, took our way to the Lady’s Walk. We stood there
together, listening to the steps. “Do you hear them?” said Charlotte,
her face lighting up with a smile. “Dear lady! that has always been here
since ever I mind.” She spoke as the children spoke in the utter
abandonment of her being, as if returning for refreshment to the full
simplicity of accent and idiom, the soft, native speech to which she was
born. “Will she stay after us, do ye think?” Charlotte said; and then,
with a little start, clinging to my arm, “Was that a sound--was that a
cry?”
Not a cry, but a sigh. It seemed to wander over all the woods and thrill
among the trees. You will say it was only the wind. I cannot tell. To me
it was a sigh, personal, heart-rending. And you may suppose what it was
to her. The tears dropped from her full eyes. She said, speaking to the
air, “We are parting, you and me. Oh, go you back to heaven, and let us
trouble you no more. Oh, go back to your home, my bonnie lady, and let
us trouble you no more!”
“Charlotte,” I said, taking her arm in mine to support her. She cast me
a glance, a smile, like one who could not, even in the midst of the
highest thoughts, neglect or be unkind, but drew her hand away and
clasped it in the other. “We are of one stock,” she said, the tears
always falling, “and the same heart. We are too anxious; but God is
above us all. Go back to your pleasant place, and say to my mother that
I will never leave them. Go away, my bonnie lady, go away! and trust us
to God.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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