England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Humorous stories
‘“What!” says the old gentleman, “not marry my daughter! Won’t you,
Mooney? Not if I make her? Won’t you? Won’t you?”
‘“No,” says Mooney, “I won’t. And if anybody asks me any more, I’ll run
away, and never come back again.”
‘“Mr. Grig,” says the old gentleman, “the stars must be obeyed. You have
not changed your mind because of a little girlish folly—eh, Mr. Grig?”
‘Tom, gentlemen, had had his eyes about him, and was pretty sure that all
this was a device and trick of the waiting-maid, to put him off his
inclination. He had seen her hiding and skipping about the two doors,
and had observed that a very little whispering from her pacified the
Salamander directly. “So,” thinks Tom, “this is a plot—but it won’t
fit.”
‘“Eh, Mr. Grig?” says the old gentleman.
‘“Why, Sir,” says Tom, pointing to the crucible, “if the soup’s nearly
ready—”
‘“Another hour beholds the consummation of our labours,” returned the old
gentleman.
‘“Very good,” says Tom, with a mournful air. “It’s only for two months,
but I may as well be the richest man in the world even for that time.
I’m not particular, I’ll take her, Sir. I’ll take her.”
‘The old gentleman was in a rapture to find Tom still in the same mind,
and drawing the young lady towards him by little and little, was joining
their hands by main force, when all of a sudden, gentlemen, the crucible
blows up, with a great crash; everybody screams; the room is filled with
smoke; and Tom, not knowing what may happen next, throws himself into a
Fancy attitude, and says, “Come on, if you’re a man!” without addressing
himself to anybody in particular.
‘“The labours of fifteen years!” says the old gentleman, clasping his
hands and looking down upon the Gifted, who was saving the pieces, “are
destroyed in an instant!”—And I am told, gentlemen, by-the-bye, that this
same philosopher’s stone would have been discovered a hundred times at
least, to speak within bounds, if it wasn’t for the one unfortunate
circumstance that the apparatus always blows up, when it’s on the very
point of succeeding.
‘Tom turns pale when he hears the old gentleman expressing himself to
this unpleasant effect, and stammers out that if it’s quite agreeable to
all parties, he would like to know exactly what has happened, and what
change has really taken place in the prospects of that company.
‘“We have failed for the present, Mr. Grig,” says the old gentleman,
wiping his forehead. “And I regret it the more, because I have in fact
invested my niece’s five thousand pounds in this glorious speculation.
But don’t be cast down,” he says, anxiously—“in another fifteen years,
Mr. Grig—”
“Oh!” cries Tom, letting the young lady’s hand fall. “Were the stars
very positive about this union, Sir?”
‘“They were,” says the old gentleman.
‘“I’m sorry to hear it,” Tom makes answer, “for it’s no go, Sir.”
‘“No what!” cries the old gentleman.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account