The Land of Darkness: Along with Some Further Chapters in the Experiences of the Little PilgrimOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
The Land of Darkness: Along with Some Further Chapters in the Experiences of the Little Pilgrim
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Future life -- Fiction; Purgatory -- Fiction
I can tell no man what his eyes said. I understood, I cannot tell how;
and with trembling all my limbs seemed to drop out of joint and my face
grow moist with terror. I could not speak any more than he, but with my
lips shaped, How? The awful thought made a tremor in the very air
around. He shook his head slowly as he looked at me--his eyes, all
circled with deep lines, looking out of caves of anguish and anxiety;
and then I remembered how he had said, and I had scoffed at him, that
the way he sought was one he did not know. I had dropped his hands in my
fear; and yet to leave him seemed dragging the heart out of my breast,
for none but he had spoken to me like a brother--had taken my hand and
thanked me. I looked out across the plain, and the roads seemed tranquil
and still. There was a coolness in the air. It looked like evening, as
if somewhere in those far distances there might be a place where a weary
soul might rest. And I looked behind me, and thought what I had
suffered, and remembered the lazar-house and the voices that cried and
the hands that beat against the door; and also the horrible quiet of the
room in which I lived, and the eyes which looked in at me and turned my
gaze upon myself. Then I rushed after him, for he had turned to go on
upon his way; and caught at his clothes, crying--‘Behold me, behold me!
I will go too!’
He reached me his hand and went on without a word; and I with terror
crept after him, treading in his steps, following like his shadow. What
it was to walk with another, and follow, and be at one, is more than I
can tell; but likewise my heart failed me for fear, for dread of what
we might encounter, and of hearing that name, or entering that presence,
which was more terrible than all torture. I wondered how it could be
that one should willingly face _that_ which racked the soul, and how he
had learned that it was possible, and where he had heard of the way. And
as we went on I said no word--for he began to seem to me a being of
another kind, a figure full of awe; and I followed as one might follow a
ghost. Where would he go? Were we not fixed here for ever, where our lot
had been cast? and there were still many other great cities where there
might be much to see, and something to distract the mind, and where it
might be more possible to live than it had proved in the other places.
There might be no tyrants there, nor cruelty, nor horrible noises, nor
dreadful silence. Towards the right hand, across the plain, there seemed
to rise out of the gray distance a cluster of towers and roofs like
another habitable place--and who could tell that something better might
not be there? Surely everything could not turn to torture and misery. I
dragged on behind him, with all these thoughts hurrying through my mind.
He was going--I dare to say it now, though I did not dare then--to seek
out a way to God; to try, if it was possible, to find the road that led
back--that road which had been open once to all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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