He stared wide-eyed in sudden reverie, his eyes wistful, his freckled
face softened with something that contrasted oddly enough with his
ordinary reckless, devil-may-care attitude toward the world. His better
side was uppermost; somehow this girl could always summon it. But now,
as she watched him mutely, a swift shadow darkened his face.
"Yes," he told her, "perhaps I ought to be encouraged by the way I feel
about it, and get busy. I could if I was built right, but I'm not,
Maisie. I can't get settled and I haven't any balance wheel. It's 'off
again, on again, gone again' with me. I can't get fairly into a place
before the old itch to keep moving bothers me, and with the other, the
combination keeps me shifting. Why, I seem to be a whole bunch of
fellows mixed up in a free-for-all, sometimes," he added, with a forlorn
smile. "Other fellows can get down to a steady grind and climb; I can't.
God knows I want to, sometimes." He gave her a queer look; she did not
seem to notice.
"And then," he pursued, "I've never had a home, you know, not since the
poor little mother died. Of course, that wasn't much of a home to look
at, but she was there, and I've never had one since. Oh, it's been so
lonesome sometimes; you don't know. It's the man who goes jumping over
the world alone, here today and there tomorrow, that knows what
lonesomeness is. It's that, I tell you, that's raised the devil with me.
Perhaps I'm wrong, but it seems to me that if it had been with me like
it is with others I'd have been different. I've known fellows inclined
the same way as I am, but they settled down and got homes, and now--why,
they've got me beat out of sight."
"Well," she queried eagerly, "why don't you--" and stopped suddenly, her
cheeks crimsoning, for Micky's disturbed face had with her unthinking
words grown suddenly tense with purpose. A flash of realization had
revealed to him his great need, the influence to anchor him and hold him
fast against the restless, turbid tide that sought to sweep him away.
Why, he needed--her! On the word of this slip of a girl hung his
opportunity for a new and better world; a world for two, two who might
work, one for the other,--and climb; a world in which dreams might come
true. In a moment it would have all been poured forth in broken,
incoherent phrase, the sum of Micky's illumining dream and his desire.
But the girl, with the unerring instinct of her sex, divined the
situation and in quick alarm frustrated O'Byrn's intention, though very
gently.
"Well," she said, smiling at him brightly, "we've had a good talk,
haven't we? I'm glad you told me about--everything. I know you'll win,
it's in you. And now--I know you won't mind--but it's gettin' late, and
I have to get up early, you know."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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