End of the world -- Fiction; Epidemics -- Fiction; Science fiction; Twenty-first century -- Fiction
Now pause!—During my journey I might dream, and with buoyant wings
reach the summit of life’s high edifice. Now that I am arrived at its
base, my pinions are furled, the mighty stairs are before me, and step
by step I must ascend the wondrous fane—
Speak!—What door is opened?
Behold me in a new capacity. A diplomatist: one among the
pleasure-seeking society of a gay city; a youth of promise; favourite
of the Ambassador. All was strange and admirable to the shepherd of
Cumberland. With breathless amaze I entered on the gay scene, whose
actors were
—the lilies glorious as Solomon,
Who toil not, neither do they spin.
Soon, too soon, I entered the giddy whirl; forgetting my studious
hours, and the companionship of Adrian. Passionate desire of sympathy,
and ardent pursuit for a wished-for object still characterized me. The
sight of beauty entranced me, and attractive manners in man or woman
won my entire confidence. I called it rapture, when a smile made my
heart beat; and I felt the life’s blood tingle in my frame, when I
approached the idol which for awhile I worshipped. The mere flow of
animal spirits was Paradise, and at night’s close I only desired a
renewal of the intoxicating delusion. The dazzling light of ornamented
rooms; lovely forms arrayed in splendid dresses; the motions of a
dance, the voluptuous tones of exquisite music, cradled my senses in
one delightful dream.
And is not this in its kind happiness? I appeal to moralists and sages.
I ask if in the calm of their measured reveries, if in the deep
meditations which fill their hours, they feel the extasy of a youthful
tyro in the school of pleasure? Can the calm beams of their
heaven-seeking eyes equal the flashes of mingling passion which blind
his, or does the influence of cold philosophy steep their soul in a joy
equal to his, engaged
In this dear work of youthful revelry.
But in truth, neither the lonely meditations of the hermit, nor the
tumultuous raptures of the reveller, are capable of satisfying man’s
heart. From the one we gather unquiet speculation, from the other
satiety. The mind flags beneath the weight of thought, and droops in
the heartless intercourse of those whose sole aim is amusement. There
is no fruition in their vacant kindness, and sharp rocks lurk beneath
the smiling ripples of these shallow waters.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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