His face lost a measure of its lightness as he stood hat in hand,
looking from the man whose face was lined with passion to the girl,
flushed and a bit breathless.
"Very well.... And thank you. I'll be out soon."
He stood a moment irresolute, as though he thought his presence might
be needed there. Then turned and walked away.
"Your help seems rather unceremonious," Hilton remarked.
"Thanks for that! What if he had seen more? Dick, are you beside
yourself? You call this love?"
"It proves that it's love," he replied tensely. "You set me wild with
your vagaries, Jane! You--" He checked himself and, with an obvious
effort, smiled. Then went on with voice and manner under control: "You
see, I am much in love with you and losing you for only a little while
puts me a bit off my head.
"I have wanted you for four years and I'm jealous of the months, even
the weeks. I'm sure, but that doesn't help much."
"Sure? Of what?"
"Of you."
"And why?"
"Because I know you. You confessed your weaknesses just a moment ago.
You know as well as I that you're without foundation, without
background in this experience. Why, Jane, if you'd been capable of
fighting your own battles, you'd have forced the issue long before it
was necessary, but you are not. You need help, you need the faith of
other people.
"Why, women like you weren't made to stand alone!"
"Flattering!"
"Yes, it is. You were made to be loved, to be protected, to have the
men take the knocks for you, you and all your kind. You were born to
lean and to make the lives of men worth while by leaning on them, never
to attempt to go your own way. You have always done just this and you
have admitted it, here, this afternoon.
"Your wild wants, your absurd desires.... Everyone has them. That is a
rule of life: wanting to do the thing you are not fitted to do. You can
no more be a business woman than I can fly; you can no more cut
yourself away from your old environment and slip into this than one of
your cowpunchers could fit into my life.
"Don't you see that you're risking disaster? In your old life you had a
belief in yourself; in this you think you have, but you have not, your
eyes will be opened and when you see that you have failed ... then you
will be a failure, and nothing is so hopeless as that realization.
"You are weak, and I thank God for that weakness. You know that it is
either this, or me. You are trying this, trying to refuse me, but you
will come back to me just as surely as we stand together in this room.
You may come back without a shred of faith in yourself, but I have
faith in you, in the old Jane, the one I know and love, and I can bring
that back. The future won't be bad; it will be wholly good."
His words were very gentle, his manner most kindly, but beneath it was
a scarcely detectable hardness, a deliberate, cold determination, and
perhaps it was this which struck a fear into the girl's heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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