"It is all so nonsensical, the thing you are doing, so foolish. I
suppose I am the only thing you have ever wanted that you couldn't get
and that's what stimulates your want. It's not love, Dick."
"How do you know?"
"I have learned things in these weeks," with a wistful smile. "I have
learned about ... men, for one thing. I have found an honesty, an
honor, a simple directness, which I have never known before."
He rose and leaned his fists on the table.
"You mean you've found a lover?"
She met his eyes frankly.
"Again I say, you have no right to ask that question. In the second
place, I am not yet sure."
His mouth drew down in a leer.
"So that's it, eh? So you would turn me away for some rough-neck who
murders the English language and smells of horse. You'd let a thing
like that overwhelm you in a few days when a civilized human has failed
after years of trying!
"I've tried to treat you with respect. I've tried to be gentle and
honorable. Now if you don't want that, if you want this he-man sort of
wooing, by God you'll get it!"
He kicked his chair back angrily and advanced about the table. A big
blue vein which ran down over his forehead stood out in knots. Jane
rose.
"Dick!" she cried and in the one word was disappointment, anger,
appeal, reproach, query.
"Oh, I'm through," he muttered. "I used to think you were a different
sort; used to think you were fine and finished. But if you're a woman
in the raw ... then I'll treat you as such. You've got me, either way;
I can't get you out of my mind an hour.
"I'm through holding myself back, now. You've driven me mad and you
prove by your own insinuations that the lover you want is not the one
who will dally with you. You want the primitive, go-and-get-it kind,
the kind that takes and keeps. Well, mine can be that kind!"
She backed from him slowly and he kept on advancing with a menacing
assurance, his face contorted with jealousy and desire.
"The other day,"--stopping a moment, "when I took your hands and felt
your body here in this room I was almost beside myself. You haven't
been out of my thoughts an hour since then! I tried to kill it with
reason and then with drink. I've tried to be patient and wait among the
... the cattle in that little town." He walked on toward
her.
"Dick, are you mad?" she challenged, trying to summon her assurance
through the fright which he had given her. "It's not what you think....
It's none of your affair--
"Dick!"
He grasped her wrists roughly.
"Am I mad?" he repeated, looking down at her, his jaw clenched. "Yes,
I'm mad. Mad from want of you ... your eyes, your lips, your hair,
your very breath drives me mad and when I hear you tell me that you've
found the flesh that calls to your flesh among these men it drives me
wild! I can offer you more than any of them can a thousand times
over....
"Great God, I love you!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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