The Lazy Tour of Two Idle ApprenticesDickens, Charles
General
The Lazy Tour of Two Idle Apprentices
Dickens, Charles
Apprentices -- Fiction; Cumbria (England) -- Description and travel -- Fiction; Walking -- England -- Cumbria -- Fiction
Whiskey and oil to Thomas Idle’s ankle, and whiskey without oil to
Francis Goodchild’s stomach, produced an agreeable change in the systems
of both; soothing Mr. Idle’s pain, which was sharp before, and sweetening
Mr. Goodchild’s temper, which was sweet before. Portmanteaus being then
opened and clothes changed, Mr. Goodchild, through having no change of
outer garments but broadcloth and velvet, suddenly became a magnificent
portent in the Innkeeper’s house, a shining frontispiece to the fashions
for the month, and a frightful anomaly in the Cumberland village.
Greatly ashamed of his splendid appearance, the conscious Goodchild
quenched it as much as possible, in the shadow of Thomas Idle’s ankle,
and in a corner of the little covered carriage that started with them for
Wigton—a most desirable carriage for any country, except for its having a
flat roof and no sides; which caused the plumps of rain accumulating on
the roof to play vigorous games of bagatelle into the interior all the
way, and to score immensely. It was comfortable to see how the people
coming back in open carts from Wigton market made no more of the rain
than if it were sunshine; how the Wigton policeman taking a country walk
of half-a-dozen miles (apparently for pleasure), in resplendent uniform,
accepted saturation as his normal state; how clerks and schoolmasters in
black, loitered along the road without umbrellas, getting varnished at
every step; how the Cumberland girls, coming out to look after the
Cumberland cows, shook the rain from their eyelashes and laughed it away;
and how the rain continued to fall upon all, as it only does fall in hill
countries.
Wigton market was over, and its bare booths were smoking with rain all
down the street. Mr. Thomas Idle, melodramatically carried to the inn’s
first floor, and laid upon three chairs (he should have had the sofa, if
there had been one), Mr. Goodchild went to the window to take an
observation of Wigton, and report what he saw to his disabled companion.
‘Brother Francis, brother Francis,’ cried Thomas Idle, ‘What do you see
from the turret?’
‘I see,’ said Brother Francis, ‘what I hope and believe to be one of the
most dismal places ever seen by eyes. I see the houses with their roofs
of dull black, their stained fronts, and their dark-rimmed windows,
looking as if they were all in mourning. As every little puff of wind
comes down the street, I see a perfect train of rain let off along the
wooden stalls in the market-place and exploded against me. I see a very
big gas lamp in the centre which I know, by a secret instinct, will not
be lighted to-night. I see a pump, with a trivet underneath its spout
whereon to stand the vessels that are brought to be filled with water. I
see a man come to pump, and he pumps very hard, but no water follows, and
he strolls empty away.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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