The Lazy Tour of Two Idle ApprenticesDickens, Charles
General
The Lazy Tour of Two Idle Apprentices
Dickens, Charles
Apprentices -- Fiction; Cumbria (England) -- Description and travel -- Fiction; Walking -- England -- Cumbria -- Fiction
On market morning, Carlisle woke up amazingly, and became (to the two
Idle Apprentices) disagreeably and reproachfully busy. There were its
cattle market, its sheep market, and its pig market down by the river,
with raw-boned and shock-headed Rob Roys hiding their Lowland dresses
beneath heavy plaids, prowling in and out among the animals, and
flavouring the air with fumes of whiskey. There was its corn market down
the main street, with hum of chaffering over open sacks. There was its
general market in the street too, with heather brooms on which the purple
flower still flourished, and heather baskets primitive and fresh to
behold. With women trying on clogs and caps at open stalls, and ‘Bible
stalls’ adjoining. With ‘Doctor Mantle’s Dispensary for the cure of all
Human Maladies and no charge for advice,’ and with Doctor Mantle’s
‘Laboratory of Medical, Chemical, and Botanical Science’—both healing
institutions established on one pair of trestles, one board, and one
sun-blind. With the renowned phrenologist from London, begging to be
favoured (at sixpence each) with the company of clients of both sexes, to
whom, on examination of their heads, he would make revelations ‘enabling
him or her to know themselves.’ Through all these bargains and
blessings, the recruiting-sergeant watchfully elbowed his way, a thread
of War in the peaceful skein. Likewise on the walls were printed hints
that the Oxford Blues might not be indisposed to hear of a few fine
active young men; and that whereas the standard of that distinguished
corps is full six feet, ‘growing lads of five feet eleven’ need not
absolutely despair of being accepted.
Scenting the morning air more pleasantly than the buried majesty of
Denmark did, Messrs. Idle and Goodchild rode away from Carlisle at eight
o’clock one forenoon, bound for the village of Hesket, Newmarket, some
fourteen miles distant. Goodchild (who had already begun to doubt
whether he was idle: as his way always is when he has nothing to do) had
read of a certain black old Cumberland hill or mountain, called Carrock,
or Carrock Fell; and had arrived at the conclusion that it would be the
culminating triumph of Idleness to ascend the same. Thomas Idle,
dwelling on the pains inseparable from that achievement, had expressed
the strongest doubts of the expediency, and even of the sanity, of the
enterprise; but Goodchild had carried his point, and they rode away.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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