The Life and Death of Doctor Faustus Made into a FarceMarlowe, Christopher
General
The Life and Death of Doctor Faustus Made into a Farce
Marlowe, Christopher
Faust, -approximately 1540 -- Drama
_Enter_ Darius _and_ Alexander; _they Fight_: Darius _falls_. Alexander
_takes his Crown, and puts it on his Head_.
[_Exit._ Darius _sinks_.
_Faust._ Away, be gon; see, my Gracious Lord, what Beast is that that
thrusts his Head out of yon' Window.
_Emp._ O wondrous Sight! see two Horns on young _Benoolio_'s Head; call
him, Lords.
_Lord._ What, ho! _Benoolio_.
_Ben._ A Plague upon you, let me Sleep.
_Lord._ Look up, _Benoolio_, 'tis the Emperor calls.
_Ben._ The Emperor; O my Head.
_Faust._ And thy Horns hold, 'tis no matter for thy Head.
_Ben._ Doctor, this is your Villany.
_Faust._ O say not so, Sir; the Doctor has no Skill, if he bring
_Alexander_ or _Darius_ here you'll be _Actæon_, and turn to a Stag:
Therefore, if it please your Majesty, I'll bring a Kennel of Hounds to
hunt him. Ho! _Helmot_, _Argiron_, _Asterot_.
_Ben._ Hold, he'll raise a Kennel of Devils. Good, my Lord, intreat.
_Emp._ Prithee remove his Horns, he has done Penance enough.
_Faust._ Away; and remember hereafter you speak well of Scholars.
_Ben._ If Scholars be such Cuckolds to put Horns upon honest Mens Heads,
I'll ne'er trust Smooth-face and Small-band more: But if I been't
reveng'd, may I be turn'd to a Gaping Oyster, and drink nothing but
Salt-water.
_Emp._ Come, _Faustus_, in recompence of this high Desert, Thou shalt
command the State of _Germany_, and live belov'd of mighty _Carolus_.
[_Exeunt omnes._
SCENE _a Garden_.
_Lord._ Nay, sweet _Benoolio_, let us sway thy Thoughts from this
Attempt against the Conjurer.
_Ben._ My Head is lighter than it was by the Horns:
And yet my Heart's more pond'rous than my Head,
And pants, until I see the Conjurer dead.
_2 Lord._ Consider.
_Ben._ Away; disswade me not, he comes. [_Draws._
_Enter_ Faustus _with a false Head_.
Now Sword strike home:
For Horns he gave, I'll have his Head anon.
_Runs_ Faustus _through, he falls_.
_Faust._ Oh, oh.
_Ben._ Groan you, Mr. Doctor, now for his Head.
[_Cuts his Head off._
_Lord._ Struck with a willing Hand.
_Ben._ First, on this Scull, in quittance of my Wrongs, I'll nail huge
forked Horns within the Window where he yoak'd me first, that all the
World may see my just Revenge; and thus having settled his Head----
_Faust._ What shall the Body do, Gentlemen.
_Ben._ The Devil's alive again?
_Lord._ Give the Devil his Head again.
_Faust._ Nay, keep it; _Faustus_ will have Heads and Hands;
I call your Hearts to recompence this Deed.
Ho; _Asteroth_, _Belincoth_, _Mephostopholis_.
_Enter Devils, and Horse 'em upon others._
Go Horse these Traytors on your fiery Backs.
Drag 'em through Dirt and Mud, through Thorns and Briers.
_Lord._ Pity us, gentle _Faustus_, save our Lives.
_Faust._ Away.
_Ben._ He must needs go whom the Devil drives.
[_Spirits fly away._ _Exit_ Faustus.
SCENE _a Hall_.
_Enter_ Harlequin _in a Beggar's Habit_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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