The Life of Lazarillo of Tormes: His Fortunes and Misfortunes as Told by Himself — John Shaqi
The Life of Lazarillo of Tormes: His Fortunes and Misfortunes as Told by HimselfAnonymous
General
The Life of Lazarillo of Tormes: His Fortunes and Misfortunes as Told by Himself
Anonymous
Picaresque literature, Spanish; Spain -- Social conditions -- 16th century -- Fiction; Spanish fiction -- Translations into English
And he always put a little jug of wine next to him when we ate.
I would grab it quickly and give it a couple of quiet kisses
before I put it back in its place. But that didn't go on for
very long: he could tell by the number of nips he took that some
was missing. So to keep his wine safe he never let the jug out
of reach; he'd always hold on to the handle. But not even a
magnet could attract the way I could with a long rye straw that I
had made for that very purpose. And I'd stick it in the mouth of
the jug and suck until--good-bye, wine! But the old traitor was
so wary that I think he must have sensed me, because from then on
he stopped that and put the jug between his legs. And even then
he kept his hand over the top to make sure.
But I got so used to drinking wine that I was dying for it. And
when I saw that my straw trick wouldn't work, I decided to make a
spout by carving a little hole in the bottom of the jug and then
sealing it off neatly with a little thin strip of wax. When it
was mealtime, I'd pretend I was cold and get in between the legs
of the miserable blind man to warm up by the little fire we had.
And the heat of it would melt the wax, since it was such a tiny
piece. Then the wine would begin to trickle from the spout into
my mouth, and I got into a position so that I wouldn't miss a
blasted drop. When the poor fellow went to drink he wouldn't
find a thing. He'd draw back, astonished, then he'd curse and
damn the jar and the wine, not knowing what could have happened.
"You can't say that I drank it, Sir," I said, "since you never
let it out of your hand."
But he kept turning the jug around and feeling it, until he
finally discovered the hole and saw through my trick. But he
pretended that he hadn't found out.
Then one day I was tippling on my jug as usual, without realizing
what was in store for me or even that the blind man had found me
out. I was sitting the same as always, taking in those sweet
sips, my face turned toward the sky and my eyes slightly closed
so I could really savor the delicious liquor. The dirty blind
man saw that now was the time to take out his revenge on me, and
he raised that sweet and bitter jug with both his hands and
smashed it down on my mouth with all his might. As I say, he
used all his strength, and poor Lazaro hadn't been expecting
anything like this; in fact, I was drowsy and happy as always.
So it seemed like the sky and everything in it had really fallen
down on top of me. The little tap sent me reeling and knocked me
unconscious, and that enormous jug was so huge that pieces of it
stuck in my face, cutting me in several places and knocking out
my teeth, so that I don't have them to this very day.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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