He came, and as far as possible, I renewed our old pleasure of making
_tete-a-tete_ excursions, though, instead of mountains and glacers
and the wide blue lake, we had to content ourselves with mere slopes
and ponds and artificial plantations. The years had changed us both,
but with what different result! Meunier was now a brilliant figure
in society, to whom elegant women pretended to listen, and whose
acquaintance was boasted of by noblemen ambitious of brains. He
repressed with the utmost delicacy all betrayal of the shock which
I am sure he must have received from our meeting, or of a desire to
penetrate into my condition and circumstances, and sought by the
utmost exertion of his charming social powers to make our reunion
agreeable. Bertha was much struck by the unexpected fascinations of a
visitor whom she had expected to find presentable only on the score of
his celebrity, and put forth all her coquetries and accomplishments.
Apparently she succeeded in attracting his admiration, for his
manner towards her was attentive and flattering. The effect of his
presence on me was so benignant, especially in those renewals of our
old _tete-a-tete_ wanderings, when he poured forth to me wonderful
narratives of his professional experience, that more than once, when
his talk turned on the psychological relations of disease, the thought
crossed my mind that, if his stay with me were long enough, I might
possibly bring myself to tell this man the secrets of my lot. Might
there not lie some remedy for me, too, in his science? Might there
not at least lie some comprehension and sympathy ready for me in his
large and susceptible mind? But the thought only flickered feebly now
and then, and died out before it could become a wish. The horror I had
of again breaking in on the privacy of another soul, made me, by an
irrational instinct, draw the shroud of concealment more closely around
my own, as we automatically perform the gesture we feel to be wanting
in another.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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