The Lighter Side of English LifeMoore, Frank Frankfort
General
The Lighter Side of English Life
Moore, Frank Frankfort
England -- Social life and customs; England -- Social life and customs -- Humor
That was what might be termed “a close call” upon the dignity and
discrimination of the leaders of Society in Mallingham, and this was
possibly why they held back when a man and his wife bearing the name
Stanwell took a house in the town. The lady seemed quite nice and the
man was passable, and before they had “settled down” it was noised
abroad that they had a car: it need scarcely be said that to “have a
car” is in country districts nowadays as sure a sign of respectability
as “driving a gig” was in the 'thirties. There seemed to be no reason
why these people should not be called upon by the leaders of Mallingham
Society; but the leaders were getting more cautious than ever since the
Baroness' scandal, and they hung back, none of them wishing to take a
step which it would be impossible to recall, and every day the question
of to call or not to call was informally discussed. It was just at this
critical moment, when the fate of the Stanwells was trembling in the
balance, so to speak, that one of the leaders was visited by a London
friend, and on the name Stanwell being mentioned, this person asked,
“Is that Herbert Stanwell, the author? It must be. I heard that he was
leaving London and going to live in the country. They are all going.
Soon we shall not have an author left in London; though I remember the
time when they all lived there.”
“This Mr. Stanwell has a car, I hear,” was the “feeling” suggestion made
by the Mallingham lady.
“So has Herbert Stanwell--he has been photographed in it dozens of
times. Dear me! To think of Herbert Stanwell coming down here!” was the
exclamation of the visitor; and the moment that she had gone back to
London her hostess rushed round to her partners in the government of
social Mallingham, and breathlessly announced that she had discovered
that Mr. Stanwell was an author and that Mrs. Stanwell was his wife.
“Good heavens!” was the whispered exclamation from the syndicate. “Who
would have believed it? And we were actually thinking of calling upon
them! And they look quite respectable.”
“And have a car!”
“Car, or no car, what I tell you is the truth. Is he not 'H. Stanwell?'
and the authors name is Herbert. There's no doubt about it. And my
friend, who knows everybody in London, said that Herbert Stanwell was
about to live in the country.”
She assumed the pose of a Princess Hohenstïel Schwangau, saviour of
Society, and she and her friends talked of how providential were certain
incidents, let scoffers say what they might; for if she had not by the
merest accident--ah, a providential accident!--mentioned the name of the
Stanwells, no one would have known anything about them, and they might
have been visited quite in good faith.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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