The Lighter Side of English LifeMoore, Frank Frankfort
General
The Lighter Side of English Life
Moore, Frank Frankfort
England -- Social life and customs; England -- Social life and customs -- Humor
“Oh ay, Jonas Craggs--young Joe, we called him; I knew his father,”
replied my visitor. “He was only here a matter of six-and-thirty years.
I was superann'ated to make way for him. Young-Joe, we called him, and I
was curious to see how things had come on in the garden of late.”
“You were superannuated thirty-six years ago,” said I. “What age are you
now?”
“I'm ninety-eight, sir,” he replied with a smirk.
I showed him round the garden. He said he could see that the things he
had planted had grown summut; and I walked through the churchyard the
next Sunday with the greatest complacency.
When I told the Rector that my experience of this grand old gardener
tended to make me take the side of Thurswell and the neighbourhood
against scientific investigation in regard to longevity, he assured
me that if I paid a visit to a certain elderly lady who lived with a
middle-aged granddaughter in a cottage on the road to Cransdown I should
find ample confirmation of the faith for which I had a leaning. The
lady's name was, he said, Martha Trendall, and she really was, he
thought, a genuine centenarian, for she had a vivid recollection of
events which had happened quite ninety years ago; and, unlike most
reputed centenarians, she remembered many details of the historical
incidents that had taken place in her young days; she was a most
intelligent person altogether, and had evidently been at one time a
great reader, though latterly her eyesight had shown signs of failing.
I made up my mind to pay a visit to this Mrs. Trendall, and thought that
perhaps I might get material for a letter to the _Times_ that should not
leave the scientific investigator a leg to stand on. A month, however,
elapsed before I carried out my intention, though the Rector thought
this was not a case for procrastination: when a lady is anything over a
hundred her hold upon life shows a tendency to relax, he said, for even
the most notorious centenarians cannot be expected to live for ever. But
when I managed to make my call I must confess that I was amply repaid
for the time I spent in the company of Mrs. Trendall.
I found her sitting in her chair in what is called the chimney corner
when it exists in its original condition in a cottage, but is termed the
“ingle nook” in those red brick imitation cottages which are being flung
about the country by those architects who concern themselves in the
development of estates. I saw at once that such a figure would be out of
place anywhere except in the chimney corner of a cottage kitchen, with
immovable windows, but a “practicable” iron crane for the swinging
of pots over the hearth fire. The atmosphere--thanks to the immobile
casements--was also all that it should be: it was congenially
centenarian, I perceived in a moment. It had a pleasant pungency of old
bacon, but though I looked about for a genuine flitch maturing in
the smoke, I failed to see one--still, the nail on which it should be
hanging was there all right.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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