The Lighter Side of English LifeMoore, Frank Frankfort
General
The Lighter Side of English Life
Moore, Frank Frankfort
England -- Social life and customs; England -- Social life and customs -- Humor
They entered Caterham's almost simultaneously, without noticing that
the hoarding which had been built about the next door premises while a
plate-glass front of noble design was being set in its place had
been removed. And when they inquired for the Cachar, the young lady
said--“He is in the new shop--you go through the arch on the left.”
There was a Norman arch of lath and plaster enriched by insets of
highly decorated Lincrusta--the paper-hangmen had just left it--in the
partition wall; through it the ladies went and found themselves in a
spacious shop with a profusion of cheap specimens of Oriental china on
lacquer brackets about the walls, and an all-pervading smell of freshly
roasted coffee. It was clearly the newly acquired premises of the
enterprising Messrs. Caterham, which they meant to run as a shop for
the sale of Indian tea and West Indian coffee--the “Old Flag” was their
trade-mark--and a brisk sale of half-pound and quarter-pound packets was
going on at the counter.
So much the ladies who had just entered could see; but a moment after
they had taken their first illuminating glance round the place they
stood with their eyes fixed upon one of the most prominent objects of
the place--the bustling figure of the Cachar of Darjeeling in native
dress, turban and jewels and all, tying up parcels of tea behind the
counter, and testing the coins which the crowd of customers tendered in
payment before pulling the bell-ringing drawer of the cash register!
The enterprise of Messrs. Caterham had suggested to them the advertising
attraction in the form of a full-robed Oriental at the head of their new
tea department. They had promoted one of their old hands--he came from
the East End of London--to the post, and having “made up” under the
guidance of one of Messrs. Nathan's most highly qualified assistants,
Messrs. Caterham were perhaps not going too far when they asserted
in their advertisements that the tea trade of Burford would assume an
entirely new complexion.
The ladies gazed in horrible fascination upon the impostor--at the
moment they were unable to differentiate between an advertisement and
an impostor--for nearly a whole minute, and then they turned and walked
slowly away without exchanging a word.
Mrs. Paston left Burford the next day, having been ordered by her
medical adviser to Buxton. But Major Sowerby picked out his most
serviceable Malacca cane, and was heard to declare, while trying its
balance in downward strokes from left to right, that he had only to come
across that scoundrel who called himself by the honourable title of
a loyal Indian potentate in order to teach him a lesson that he would
remember so long as he had breath in his body.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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