It is difficult for the present generation to perceive the streak of fun in "the Petroleum V. Nasby Papers" which regaled our grandfathers, and Mr. Lincoln above others, who waited eagerly for the next letter in the press. He requested the presentation of the author, John Locke, and thanked him face to face--neither, like the augurs, able to keep his _face_--for such antidotes to the blues. He said to a friend of "the Postmaster at Confedrit X-rodes": "If 'Petroleum' would impart his talent to me, I would swap places with him!" * * * * * THE STOPPER ON JOURNALISTIC "GAS." Having examined a model cannon devised not to allow the escape of gas, he quizzically glanced at the group of newspaper reporters, and said: "I really believe this does what it is represented to do. But do any of you know of any machine or invention for preventing the escape of _gas_ from newspaper establishments?" * * * * * SALT BEFORE PEPPER. The Cabinet being assembled in September, 1862, to consider the first draft of the Emancipation Act, those not yet familiar with the chairman's habit to supply a whet before the main dish, were startled that he should preface the business by reading the New York paper--_Vanity Fair_--continuing the series of "Artemus Ward's" tour with his show. This paper was the "High-handed Outrage at Utica." He laughed his fill over it, while the grave signiors frowned and yet struggled to keep their countenances. If they had more experience, they would have heard him read "Josh Billings," particularly "On the Mule," from the New York _Weekly_ columns. It was as "good as a play," the stenographers said, to see the President dart a glance over his spectacle-rims at some demure counselor whose molelike machinations were more than suspected, and with mock solemnity declaim: "'I hev known a mewl to be good for six months jest ter git a chance to kick his owner!'" In allusion to those remarkable feats of arms and--legs--Early's or Stuart's raids and Jackson's forced rapid marches, almost at horse-speed, when the men carried no rations, but ate corn-ears taken from the shucks and roasted them "at their pipes," the droll ruler would bring in that "mewl" again: "'If you want to find a mewl in a lot, you must turn him into the one next to it.'" Only the rebel "fly-by-nights" were more like the Irishman's flea--"when you put your hand on him, he was not there!" * * * * * "MATCHING" STORIES. The President looking in at the telegraph-room in the White House, happened to find Major Eckert in. He saw he was counting greenbacks. So he said jokingly: "I believe you never come to business now but to handle money!" The officer pleaded that it was a mere coincidence, and instanced a story in point: