The Literary Shop, and Other TalesFord, James L. (James Lauren)
General
The Literary Shop, and Other Tales
Ford, James L. (James Lauren)
American periodicals; Authorship -- Humor
I looked in the direction indicated, and saw what seemed to be a drove
of cattle slowly approaching and enveloped in a cloud of dust. I
sauntered along to meet them, and in a quarter of an hour at a sharp
turn in the road, I encountered the strangest literary gathering that
it has ever been my fortune to behold; and when I say this I do not
forget that I have frequented some of the most brilliant literary
and artistic salons that New York has ever known. At the head of
the cavalcade marched Mr. S. S. McClure, the noted philanthropist,
magazine editor, and founder of the model village of Syndicate. He
carried a pair of bagpipes under his arm, and presented such a jaded
and travel-stained appearance that I was involuntarily reminded of
the Wandering Jew. Behind him marched a band of strange-looking men,
attired in kilts and wearing broad whiskers, long bristly hair,
and bare knees. A collie dog, panting and dust-covered, but still
sharp-eyed and vigilant, trotted along beside them to prevent them from
straying away and losing themselves in the New Jersey prairies.
As soon as Mr. McClure’s eyes fell upon me a bright smile lit up his
face, and he stopped short in the road, raised the pipe to his lips,
and burst into a triumphant strain of Scotch music. Those that followed
him paused in their course, and with one accord began a masterly
saltatorial effort, which, I have since learned, enjoys great vogue in
Glasgow and Dundee under the name of the “Sawbath Fling.” While they
danced the collie squatted on his hindquarters and watched them with
bright, sleepless eyes.
“McClure,” I cried, “in the name of all that is monthly and serial,
what does this mean?”
“Ford,” he replied solemnly, as he advanced and took me by the hand,
“you know that I have published Lincoln and Napoleon and Grant and
Elizabeth Stuart Phelps Dodge and Company Ward, but I have something
far greater than all these for the year 1897. Can you not guess the
meaning of this brave cavalcade that you see before you?”
“What! Have you actually secured Professor Garnier’s ‘Equatorial
Conversational Class’ as contributors to your monthly? That is, indeed,
a literary triumph!”
“Equatorial nothing,” retorted the great editor, testily. “I have just
imported a herd of blooded Scotch dialect authors under a one year’s
contract. We had to walk all the way out from Hoboken, because I only
agreed to pay their fares to that point, and you know it’s thirty cents
from there out, and a Scotchman always likes to walk and see scenery
when he can. The result was that I had to walk, too, for fear Scribner
or some of those pirates would coax them away from me, and I swear that
if it hadn’t been for that dog of mine I don’t think I could have got
them out here at all.”
At this moment the authors resumed their march, for they were eager
to reach their journey’s end, and we followed behind them, with the
faithful collie trotting contentedly along.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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