Christmas stories; Love stories; Soldiers -- Fiction; Widows -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
N the weeks that followed the little house came to know him well.
Everybody in the little house treated him as though his injury were a
decoration, which had been won especially in their defence. They were
prouder to see him come walking up their steps with his blue hospital
band on his remaining arm, than if Sir Douglas Haig himself had called
upon them. Nobody took any count of the frequency of his visits--nobody
except himself. Nobody seemed to think it strange that the moment the
doctors had finished his dressings, he should wander off to Dolls' House
Square. Nobody seemed to guess just how fond he was of the little lady.
He hardly guessed himself. There were times when he wondered exactly
how fond he was. He did not believe he was in love with her; the feeling
that he had was too gentle. He had always understood that love was
exciting, passionate and tumultuous with dreads, whereas in her presence
he knew neither fears nor hesitancies. He wasn't the least in terror
that he would lose her. He felt simply safe, the way a ship might feel
when the winds had ceased to buffet and it lay still in a sheltered
harbour on a level keel. This feeling of safety struck him as an
extraordinary sensation to be produced in a soldier by a woman; he was a
trifle ashamed of it, as though it were not quite manly.
While he spoke with her, he found himself believing with a child-like
faith that all women were mothers and that the world was good. He knew
that for the present he could not do without her, but he was at a
loss to imagine what he would do with her for always. She was like
religion--she went beyond him, was bigger and better. He only dimly
understood her, but was comfortable in believing that everything
hidden was as kind as the part he knew. In a strangely intimate way
he worshipped her, as a child adores his mother, thinking her the most
perfect and beautiful being in the world. He discovered in her a wisdom
of which nothing in her conversation gave the least indication; her
unhurried attitude towards life created the impression. If this were
love, then all the hearsay information he had gathered on the subject
was mistaken.
There were days when, after his wound had been dressed and he had left
the hospital, he made a pretence that he was not going to visit her. He
told himself that he was making her a habit, and that to make a habit
of anyone was foolish. Instead of going to Dolls' House Square, he
would invent some urgent business and take himself off citywards. But
expeditions in which she had no share soon grew flat. He would find
himself thinking about her, wondering whether she was waiting for
him. He would end up, as he always ended up, by jumping in a taxi and
knocking on her door in Dolls' House Square.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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