The Little Review, January 1915 (Vol. 1, No. 10)Various
General
The Little Review, January 1915 (Vol. 1, No. 10)
Various
Literature, Modern -- 20th century -- Periodicals
The flaws in our modern system of marriage are more closely seen and
more cleverly pointed out than are the remedies offered. For example,
the author shows that modern society asks of marriage “things it was
never meant to pay”; yet her remedy is vague. And again: “The initial
mistake about marriage is in regarding it as a condition, a state, when
it is primarily a relation” and may exist in spite of very unfavorable
conditions and quite apart from them. Delightfully, indeed, does she
puncture the time-worn fallacy of platonic friendships: “I doubt that
there can be any informing intimacy between men and women unless there
exists also the potentiality of passionate experience.” Yet many of her
views are completely radical. “There never has been a time since man
stood up and knew himself for man,” she writes, “that the major process
of love has been reproductive,” and later she points out that “chief
among the uses of passion is the raising of the percentage of values in
those who entertain it.” She cuts off all the frills of convention,
ceremony, tradition; strips away all but the essential naked truth germ
and declares: “Marriage is an agreement between any pair to practice
mate-love toward one another, with intention.”
Marriage, thus simplified, would not, indeed could not, be the failure
which modern society so widely accepts with resignation instead of
combating with thoughtful dissatisfaction. We have become so racially
hypnotized that we do not distinguish between associated facts (such as
food, shelter, religious sanction, obedience, etc.) and the essential
truth of mate-love. “The primary obligation of lovers is to love,” she
says. This done, all will adjust itself; and yet lest any should draw
the over-quick conclusion that Mrs. Austin advocates free love, let me
also add that she says: “To love and to keep on loving. This is the one
way of making marriage do its work in the world.”
As a remedy she begs women to open their eyes to the fact that marriage
is not now the only career for them. That marriage does not fill the
lives of those who enter it is evidenced by the divorce courts.
Tentatively Mrs. Austin suggests that instead of dissolving so many
marriages it would be wiser to unload the excessive strain put upon
them. Let economics take hold of the problem of the mother, who for the
sake of providing bread for herself and her children crucifies her own
personality, ignores her own right to happiness upon the racial
conception of marriage. Very frankly she explains what marriage should
do for us: “First of all to satisfy the hunger of the body for its
natural mate ... and finally it must satisfy the need of companionship
on the intimate and personal side of life.” She hints that “it is
immensely more important that a mating pair should relish kissing
together than that they should both be Presbyterian.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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