[Endpaper: Resolution] THE LOG OF THE WATER WAGON +--------------------------------------+ | | | This is an unlimited edition, of | | which this copy is No. 69,850. | | | | If you wish a higher number, your | | bookseller will gladly supply you. | | | +--------------------------------------+ [Illustration: THE ORIGINAL WATER WAGON] THE LOG of THE WATER WAGON or THE CRUISE OF THE GOOD SHIP “LITHIA” BY BERT LESTON TAYLOR _and_ W. C. GIBSON ILLUSTRATIONS _by_ L. M. GLACKENS [Illustration: Bacchus and Neptune] PUBLISHED BY H. M. CALDWELL CO. BOSTON _Copyright, 1905_ By H. M. Caldwell Co. _COLONIAL PRESS_ _Electrotyped and Printed by C. H. Simonds & Co. Boston, U.S.A._ FOREWORD If you don’t like this book, write to the authors about it. Don’t bother the publishers: they are too busy selling it. DEDICATION To all surviving saloon passengers of the good ship Lithia, who have rounded the Horn and passed through perilous Beering Straits, and suffered shipwreck, shock, and sudden thirst: to those intrepid souls who have clung to the slippery hull of the Water Wagon when it seemed the gallant craft could not live another hour; who, lashed to the sprinkler, have ridden out many a choking dust-storm; who have heard the cafe Lorelei sing, and still hung on, deaf to her seductive song: and— To the memory of countless thousands lost at sea, swept into the seething drink without a word of warning, cut off in the blossoms of their resolutions, and sent to their slate accounts with all their imperfections on their heads— This little volume is affectionately dedicated. EDITORS’ NOTE The Log of the Water Wagon was compiled from memoranda found in a floating milk-bottle with a patent stopper, flung overboard just before the good ship “Lithia” foundered in a fearful simoom off White Rock Point. The notes, pencilled in a trembling hand, on the backs of blank temperance pledges, I O U’s, and wine-lists, were barely legible, testifying to the fearful condition of the unknown writer’s tongue, manifestly incapable of moistening the pencil. With the notes were enclosed a Water Wagon folder, showing itinerary, rules and regulations, points of interest touched at, etc., a fragment of a clipping from the New York Sun, and sundry moral reflections upon life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The editors have preserved, as far as possible, the spirit and literary style of the Log-keeper, whose identity is an interesting conjecture. His fate, and that of his fellow passengers, is shrouded in mystery. [Illustration: Table covered with bottles] TABLE OF CONTENTS FOR OTHER CONTENTS SEE BODY OF BOOK [Illustration: St Bromo] [Newspaper clipping: THE SUN, THE WATER WAGON DEPARTS. GOOD SHIP LITHIA HEAVILY LOADED SAILS ON CRUISE.