Hitch your wagon to a star. If it’s the Water Wagon, tie it to the Great Dipper.—Emerson. ⁂ I often wonder where the old moons go After they once get full and disappear. Do they, I wonder, pilot to and fro The men who quit the Wagon year by year? —Copernicus. LOG -- First Day NOTE.—The writer of this record, being the only sober passenger aboard the Good Ship “Lithia,” has been requested by the Captain to keep the Log. The Captain kindly explains that a log is a thing in which you put down the daily occurrences on board ship. I have kept a dog, and a valet, and a thirst, and other things, but a log is sure a new proposition. But, dash my tarry toplights, here goes. Avast there, my hearties! Yeo-heave-ho! Yo-ho! At midnight we left the Bar, and got under way, with a big tide and the wind souse-souse-east and piping free. ⁂ Everybody aboard, barring the writer, is thoroughly saturated. I counted fifty-seven varieties of pickle. ⁂ Later.—It seems I was mistaken about having left the Bar. The Captain announces through the ventilator that he is stuck on the Bar. Loud cheers from the passengers, and cries of, “So say we all of us!” ⁂ Lightened ship by throwing overboard two bales of temperance pledges and ten cases of sarsaparilla. The Captain announces that we are off the Bar. Groans. ⁂ I am suspicious of the pilot. He hasn’t flashed a single pilot-biscuit since he came aboard. ⁂ The Lithia is reeling off eight knots an hour. Wind still souse-souse-east and piping free. Weather so-so. ⁂ The passengers, misled by the name, are in the saloon, calling loudly for drinks and hammering on the tables. The Captain announces through the ventilator that he will turn the hose on them. Cheers, and cries of “Louder!” ⁂ The uproar in the saloon continues. An entertainer is giving a realistic imitation of a man mixing a cocktail. Tremendous applause, and shouts of “Great, old man!” A young water curate has volunteered to go among the noisy pirates and try to soothe them. ⁂ Later.—The water curate has been thrown down the companion-way. ⁂ Loud splash on the starboard side. We have dropped the pilot. ⁂ The Captain has ordered the First Mate to take the wheel. The Mate is in the saloon, bound hand and foot, and the passengers are singing “How Can I Bear to Leave Thee.” The Lithia is going around in a circle. ⁂ The Mate has been rescued, and has laid a course for Carbonic Light. I asked him if a mate’s wife is called a room-mate. He said he didn’t know, but the midshipmite. ⁂ The Captain has just taken soundings, but reports that he can’t hear a thing. So much noise in the saloon. ⁂ Tom Ginn, the noisiest of the bunch, has been put in irons for demanding an old-fashioned cocktail and inciting the passengers to mutiny. The clanking of his chains is having a quieting effect on the other pirates. ⁂