The word “new” followed her about like a witch’s curse. At Halsted
it had been the last touch of praise for everything. If you made a
purchase, you called everybody in the house to see it, whether it was
a diamond necklace or the tiling in the bathroom. But in Gilthrotin
nothing new was tolerated but necessaries like bread and butter;
diamonds were nothing accounted of unless they had glittered first on
a family neck in a family portrait; and when progress and the plumber
forced you to a hot-water system or incandescents, you were always
glad that your great-grandfather had not lived to see it. Under her
cruel consciousness of “newness” Dandy was oppressed even to the earth.
She frowned at the picture in the glass, much as Hamer had frowned at
soulless Halsted.
Few people had called, as yet, except the neighbouring clergy,
together with countless daughters of the horse-leech, cased in
subscription-lists. More daughters had written. Indeed, begging letters
dropped like hail. Hamer contributed to the first twenty-five, and then
sat down to think about the rest. The county came slowly, however; in
driblets, so to speak. Things would alter in time, of course, for even
in the conservative country Hamer Shaw’s money would make its way, as
well as--later--Hamer Shaw’s sterling worth and fine business capacity.
And his daughter would be taken up, when it was discovered that she
hadn’t actually worked in a mill and worn clogs, but was merely a
charming and well-educated member of human society. But she would never
be a queen again, even then. She would never be even one of the elect.
She would always be “new.” In a ripe old age she would have progressed
no further than “rather new.” She would always be an outsider at
Watters in Gilthrotin.
To do her justice, though she sent a sigh after her lost crown, that
was not the cause of her dissatisfaction. For the first time in her
smooth career she was arrested, called to halt by something that
thrilled almost to pain. For the first time, too, she saw herself no
longer the pivot of her world, an outstanding figure on an obliging
background of earth, but a mere unnecessary pigmy on its surface. She
found the country cruel and very lonely, full of shut secrets, fearful,
yet unquestionably alluring. In this new atmosphere, where the true
Romance still brushed by on velvet wings, her unfledged soul shrank a
little, and as yet was lost. The name of it in books had stirred her
to a vague desire; the reality of it, keen as a sword, rich as purple
curtains before God, made her afraid.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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