She made an involuntary movement--not a sign that a chord had been
touched, but rather a mark of agitation. Chilly was the one subject
upon which she could not bring to bear the tempered reason which
otherwise marshalled her even life. It seemed to her now that she was
being thrust aside, in the interest of some new plan of discipline and
coertion. She turned swiftly on her husband.
"I suppose you think it should make no difference to me!" Her eyes
blazed. "You are so sure you understand Chilly! You--his father--have
you ever really known him all his life? Does he ever come to you when
he is in trouble or needs advice?"
Her voice held a bitter sarcasm and again the flush swept up the
Judge's pale face. But his voice was emotionless as he said, "Chilly
never felt the need of advice from any one. He goes his own sweet way."
"That is just it!" she said. "You set yourself so far above him. You
have such a contempt for his pleasures and so thoroughly despise the
company he keeps. Suppose he has a taste for liquor. He is still a
gentleman, I believe. But you, with your solemn rectitude and your
touch-me-not self-righteousness--you would drive him to the very people
and places he ought to keep away from!"
He stared at her. "I have never regarded my repugnance to his habits
as inducing him to further excesses," he said slowly. "Nor have I set
myself up as preacher. Perhaps I have never understood him as--you do.
I only know that his ways are not my ways. He has had every advantage
that education and environment can confer. He is older than I was when
I began practice. But what is he making of his life? He thinks of
nothing but playing fast and loose at country-houses and loafing at the
club and acting the fop and the fool generally!"
Her shaking hand was plucking at the lace at her throat. His every
word had been a live coal laid to her resentment. "Is that the worst
you can say of him?" she asked. "Can't you call him sot or black-leg?"
"Not yet." He was feeling now a dull anger at her scorn, at her
persistent disapproval. The throb of sympathy he had first felt had
been frozen by her icy reproach. "There are other things I wish to be
able to say of my son. I want him to be more than a decorative
philanderer. I want him to be a man--one to whom men may look for
manliness, and women for honour!"
She had grown pale to the lips. "'And women for honour!'" she
repeated. "As _I_ looked to--_you_!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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