Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Teachers -- Fiction
“How do you mean?”
“I thought love was to bring it about.”
“Love of another man’s wife? Sensual love? You have understood
nothing—nothing.” Then he was ashamed, and cried, “I understand
nothing myself.” For he remembered that sensual and spiritual are not
easy words to use; that there are, perhaps, not two Aphrodites, but one
Aphrodite with a Janus face. “I only understand that you must try to
forget her.”
“I will not try.”
“Promise me just this, then—not to do anything crooked.”
“I’m straight. No boasting, but I couldn’t do a crooked thing—no, not
if I tried.”
And so appallingly straight was he in after years, that Mr. Failing
wished that he had phrased the promise differently.
Robert simply waited. He told himself that it was hopeless; but
something deeper than himself declared that there was hope. He gave up
drink, and kept himself in all ways clean, for he wanted to be worthy
of her when the time came. Women seemed fond of him, and caused him to
reflect with pleasure, “They do run after me. There must be something
in me. Good. I’d be done for if there wasn’t.” For six years he turned
up the earth of Wiltshire, and read books for the sake of his mind,
and talked to gentlemen for the sake of their patois, and each year he
rode to Cadover to take off his hat to Mrs. Elliot, and, perhaps, to
speak to her about the crops. Mr. Failing was generally present, and
it struck neither man that those dull little visits were so many words
out of which a lonely woman might build sentences. Then Robert went to
London on business. He chanced to see Mr. Elliot with a strange lady.
The time had come.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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